10/28/04
Today was a busy day. I had to go to the doctor - and before you all start to send "Get Well" cards, I'm fine. Thank you. I just needed to get a physical and all that stuff. I also did a massive laundry day, did a bunch of clothes and linens...holy shit, this is really boring shit. Why did I even make an entry. Oh yeah, I got a copy of the Skippy Greene interview with All Comedy Radio and it is really good. I edited some boring parts out, so I'm going to be putting it up on the site soon. But the really cool part is my friend, Rob Shapiro, (who is a brilliant animator) wants to animate the interview. He was there when I did it in Vegas and was real excited about doing it. He emailed me a few examples of what he wants the character to look like, and they were really, really good. I only had a few notes and when he sends me the new drawing, I'll post it. I'm real excited, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of Skippy as a cartoon. Alright, I'm going to bed. Night. Sorry this entry was so boring, I'll try to improve the next. Oh yeah, I did a set at the Friars Club tonight and it was great. The crowd was really good and there were some top notch comics there like Steve Byrne, Mike O'Connell and Warren Durso. I tried some newer bits that all pretty much worked. I'm still having problems with the Garden of Eden joke, I can't seem to find the right punchline for it. I'm thinking of maybe just telling it in a different way. Damn that joke! I'm telling you, this joke will be my bain until I figure it out. It's like finding to find a buried treasure with only a fake map from Long John Silvers. I went to Xanadu afterwards, saw Chris and Mike and they were brilliant per usual. For any Radiohead fans out there, they did this amazing blue grass medoly of Radiohead songs called Rodehead. Download it, it's amazing. A'ight, now I'm off....oh, yeah, less that 2 weeks until my birthday! Send presents c/o my manager. :-D

10/26/04
It is sooo rainy here tonight, I love it! It's cold too, love this weather. Well, I was completely exhausted from traveling yesterday from Orlando so I didn't write in this thing last night...although I did write an entry at the airport yesterday and I tried to upload it, but it wouldn't. In retrospect I'm glad, I was a bit angry when I was writing it. I won't go into details, but let's just say that my last night at the Improv was not too pleasant business wise. I'm trying to take care of it now, but it's proving harder than I thought. Respect people, that's all, respect. I went to the Improv tonight, it was fun. Got to see some friends and then I went to my friend's birthday party. Had a beer, hung out and then I came home. Very boring day. I did add a mailing list to my site, so if you haven't signed up already or haven't received an email asking to sign up, please do. Go back to the home page and scroll to the middle of the page to sign up. I'm sooo happy to be in town for a few weeks now. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do on my birthday..any ideas? Please email me. I think I might just invite a bunch of friends to meet at a bar or something and just drink and have fun. What else....? You know, I'm tired. Good night.

10/24/04
I'm laying in my bed in Orlando waiting for the show, the joy of being a comic with nothing to do, and it's really sad. It's a beautiful day outside too. I hate this. I am watching Comedy Central and seeing these really great comics on there and I wonder why the hell I can't even get a fucking Premium Blend spot. I mean no offense to any of the comics who are on the show, but I have been doing this for 12 fucking years, and I know I'm just as funny as most of the comics on that show. But it's all about having "the right people", and I guess my people may not be right. I dunno. Maybe I'm just a bit frustrated. It's so weird, I go on stage here and I have great shows and I feel great and then I see buddy's of mine on Comedy Central or VH1 and I'm like, "Shit, I'm doing shit with my career! I need to be on TV!" I have done some TV, but it hasn't done much to up the value of my shows or really do much for my credibility. I still feel like I don't get respect in this business. Again, I know I'm not much yet (and I'm also not taking away from the successes I've had) but (to quote Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back) "When's it gonna be my time!?" God, how can I be bitter already, I'm not even 30. OK, well that ends another episode of "The Young and the Bitter". On the plus side I did have a great show last night. This really turned out to be a great week, BT is hilarious and the show is very, very good. My brother and some friends all came out last night to the second show where I featured. Oh, the freakiest thing happened at the show. I was walking past the bathroom when all of a sudden I heard a "THUMP!" and the bathroom attendant said, "Call an ambulance!" I go in there and this guy was lying on the ground, passed out. I rush over there and help him up and he's like, "I'm ok...don't call the ambulance..." And I'm saying, "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm fine". Then, right in front of me, his eyes roll back and he passes out again, smacks his head on the metal railing of the stall and hits the ground. So I yell, "Call the ambulance!" and I go down and prop his head up on my leg going "Dude! Wake up!" It was so fucking scary. And then he just woke up. He wanted to get up and I said "No way" We sat him up against the wall and then I noticed blood! I felt really bad for the poor kid. They took him out on a stretcher, better safe than sorry. If you're reading this, I hope you're alright buddy. Wow, you know what, after writing this and then rereading what I had already written, I realized that life could be worse. LOL. Isn't the human psyche an amazing thing? You feel one way one minute and then the slightest thing can change your perspective in an instant. Damn. I still hope to reach that "next level" of fame and I have to keep telling myself that it's all in due time. I usually have a better grasp of my life and my goals and what it takes to get there, it's just that when there's a long dry spell and I see something like people I know on TV, it triggers something in me. I think everyone can get like that no matter what they're job is. If you're a teacher who's been working for awhile at a school, you would want some kind of advancement, right? Why did I pick teacher? I guess because my mom, dad and brother all work for the school system. Random tangin. Hey, this blog is theraputic! :-D By the way, thanks to everyone who supports me, I really do appreciate it. When people come to my show because they had heard me on XM or ACR or saw me at another club or for whatever reason, those moments really make me feel like I am successful..."And I want to thank the Academy for this award...", sorry, started to sound like an Oscar speech. OK, I've been rambling for too long now. I'm gonna start to get ready for my last show here. I'm audi.

10/23/04
What a surprise, I just realized that I had wireless internet from Panera's right next to my hotel, so I am updating my blog-a-reno! (Shh...don't tell Panera's) First of all, I have come to realize that there are people who are actually reading this, thanks. Now I feel pressure to be funny or something, ah fuck it, you want comedy, come to a show. Oh, I'm such a card. This week has been a little fucked up, it seems that the Improv double booked the comics this week, so myself and another comic, BT, were booked to feature. No one will take responsibilty for screwing up, so BT and I are taking turns featuring and MCing. I don't mind, but I'm just afraid that our money is going to be screwed with and that is not right. It's not either of our faults that this happened but I have a feeling that we are the ones who are going to get screwed. Again, I don't know for sure. The guy that booked me in this gig said he would straighten things out, but I haven't heard from him. And it's not like BT is a dick, he's nice and funny, so the show itself is really an amazing show, there are basically 3 headliners performing, so the crowd is getting one helluva show. The other thing that sucks, actually, there are two other things that suck: 1-All three of us are selling merchandise, so that definetly hurts everyone, why you ask? Well, it's a lot of pressure on the crowd to buy from one person, but when there are 3...shit, most people would rather buy from none than hurt another comics feelings. Don't get me wrong, we've all been selling, but I know that if there were only 2 of us selling, then our sales would be a lot better. 2-There was an MC booked already who ended up losing the week. I feel really bad about that, he was so excited about working, you could tell. Jeremy, I'm sorry you got royally screwed my friend, I hope to see you down the road. Well, I've got two shows tonight and my brother, his girlfriend, and my friend Mike are coming up from Lauderdale plus my newly married friends Craig and Jaquoline and their friend Dawn are all coming to my show, so I've got to be on my game. I also have a bunch of new jokes that are really working well, I'm psyched. OH, and there is something in the works with Skippy Greene, more to come later. A'ight, I'm off to get ready for my show. BTW, I don't want you to think that I've got any ill will towards the Improv here or anywhere, they're great clubs and sometimes shit happens, like I said, I'm just worried about the money thing. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not that rich and I like money. :-D Wow, how Jewish did that sound? Seriously, the crowds here are great and the club is really great. Later.

10/20/04
This will be short, I'm about to leave to catch my 1:45 AM flight. I'm feeling excited about playing Orlando, but dreading the flight. However, I would rather do the red eye and sleep on the plane so that when I wake up I'll already be in Orlando as opposed to waking up early to fly all day. Sorry to all the Yankee fans, but come on, you gotta admit it's kinda cool that this was a historical game. Come on, you know it. Maybe not. I saw TEAM AMERICA today (with a very nice young lady) and I quite enjoyed it. Honestly, it's not as funny as SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT, but it does have its moments. I don't want to give anything away, but there's a scene that is completely worth the price of admission and a musical number that was hilarious. (Any Broadway musical fans out there will know EXACTLY what I mean) Alright, I'm outtie. I'll cya in Orlando.

10/19/04
And so it goes...I am so fucking sick of traveling. I'm all packed up and ready for Orlando, I don't know why I even came back to LA. I could've flown to Florida straight from Vegas and hung out with my family for a few days. I'm so disoriented from flying. Next week I'm in town for a week and the following week I'm working but it's around LA, so it's not like I need to fly or anything. I was at the Improv tonight and Seinfeld was taping a show there, it was packed. I almost didnt' get in which sucked because it is cold and rainy here. But I was able to hang out at the bar which was fine. Oh, and I'm not a sports guy, but DAMN! The Sox really had an amazing game tonight. I don't cheer for any specific team, I just watch the game for the sheer sport of it, I think I remain sainer that way. I think I'll route for the Sox, only 'cause they're the underdogs and you gotta go for the underdog. Sorry NY fans. :-( Oh, I uploaded some new pics from my friends' wedding and from the Festival. As I was uploading the festival pics I realized that I did not have one picture of me actually performing. That's funny, I always like to get an action shot or two, I guess I was having too much fun and forgot. Oh well. I slept so damn late today, my body is so screwed up. And I hate my apartment, I was online chatting with someone last night and a fucking ant crawled across my blanket as I was laying under it! Fucking ants! Fuck you ants! Fuck all of you! Hey Flip, ease up on the ants. Fuck no, fuck the ants! Alright, fine, have it your way, fuck the ants. Thanks. How do you like that, even online I'm schitzo. Anywho...I'm off, night. I fly out to Orlando on a red eye tomorrow morning (2 AM, yippie) and I'm getting there at 11, so I'll have A LOT of time to kill. God bless portable DVD players.

10/18/04
Well I am sitting here chatting online and listening to Les Miserables and just relaxing. Today was a pretty dull day really. I went to the gym because I feel like I'm letting myself go. At the festival a female comic told me that I have a great face and if I lose a little weight and get it more chisled, I would be "hot". So I am trying to eat better and less often and hit the cardio a lot harder. I have been eating like shit lately, mainly because I've been on the road so much. So wish me luck, hopefully I can drop like 5-7 pounds. I'm going to Orlando on Thursday, so I haven't even unpacked from Vegas. I figure I'll just throw some more clothes in there, it's stupid to unpack and repack in such a short amount of time. I also printed out some new labels for my new DVD's and CD's for my Orlando trip. Nothing too new, just some alterations. I'm still organizing my pics from Vegas, so many. I also have some pics from my friends wedding I went to. I'll throw one or two up, especially the ones with me in a tux :-D OK, gonna go...and not eat. Man, this was a boring blog.

10/17/04
I know, I know, you're all mad at me because I didn't update this thing for a week, sorry. I was in Vegas and did not have any internet access while at the Golden Nugget. I had an amazing time there and I'll try to sum up 5 days worth of festival in a short amount of time now. I got to the festival and was very happy to see so many friends of mine there like Buddy Bolton, Dwight Slade, Steve McGrew, Rocky Laporte, "Uncle" Larry Reeb, Tommy Savitt and many more. I also saw some industry friends like Ken Weinstock,Pat Buckles, Pat wilson, Jeff Abrahams and others. (Damn, a lot of others there). So, let's cut to the chase, I did my set for the competition and I did not advance. I was pretty happy with my set, the only thing that I felt I shouldn't have done was I did some "saves". Basically "saves" are when a joke doesn't work, a comic might say something like "Well that sucked" or "That was just for me", something like that to break the obvious tension that's in the room after a joke bombs. And the people laugh and feel more comfortable. It's a club trick to keep the audience laughing. Well, I did a few of those for just that reason, I felt it shows that I'm able to keep a crowd laughing and entertained. But as I got off stage, I realized that might've hurt me. After the show I talked to one of the judges (who is a friend) and he told me that he deducted points for just that reason. But to be honest, I didn't feel bad really. I stuck to what I felt was funny and what I do in my show. Comedy is so damned subjective anyway, competitions are really bullshit. I digress... The rest of the festival was amazing. Like I said, I hung out with so many old friends and I met so many new ones like Cleto Rodriguez, Jim Lauletta, Sparky, Mike Clemtis, god, so many. I also got to meet and (I feel) befriend a comedy legend, Shelley Berman. He is such an amazing man and performer. I took his improv workshops and not only did I learn from him, I got to actually perform an improv scene with him...AND I made him laugh! I swear to god, this was one of the most amazing moments of my life. And he is such a supporter and lover of comedy, he came to so many of the shows to watch the young comics and even though he didn't see me perform stand up, he told me (based on my improv) that "You are a talent, the best". Thank you Shelley. Jeez, what else to say. I have a whole bunch of pictures that I will be putting up on the picture page in the next few days, so check those out. I also got to meet a bunch of comics like Judy Tenuta, Wil Shriner, Andy Kindler, Mark Pitta, so many. Anywho, today was a long day. (LAX SUCKS!!!!) Actually, LAX and United suck. We waited an hour, one fucking hour, for our luggage and then myself and Tommy waited another hour for a shuttle to get to his car. Long story short, we landed at 8:00 PM and left the airport at 10:00 PM. So good night and Viva Las Vegas!

10/11/04
Well it's late and I'm just uploading some songs on my Ipod, yippie! Had a surprisingly great set at the Ramada tonight. I didn't want to practice my Vegas set, I always feel that over practicing something will fuck it up. So I did some new stuff and they all worked really well. I'm telling you, if you can get laughs in that room, it's funny. I had a brand new bit about the debates that I pretty much made up on my way to the gig, well, I came up with the jist of it a month ago but I thought of a good out for it, and it worked pretty well. I'm in a writing zone now. I've got a spot tomorrow night at the improv, going to practice the Vegas set there. The one thing that I realized I need in the set is to just relax. You know, comics can practice a joke, get it perfect, know the rhythm, the beats, know the movement, everything, but the second they're not in the moment and just having fun, the joke will fail. If you're relaxed, so is the audience. If they generally feel that you are having fun up there, they will have fun and laugh. You know, I don't make a helluva lot of money doing this, but the fact that I am able to make money and support myself doing stand-up is truly a miracle and amazing. I was talking to a comic tonight who is pretty well known and making great money on the road now, and I was bitching about the money I make. And to tell you the truth, it is really bullshit that I make the lousy money that I do considering how long I've been doing this. But after thinking about it for a little while, I realized (as I often do when these thoughts of self-loathing and pity enter my psyche) that all things happen in time. I'm meant to do stand-up and I'm good at it, and with persistance will come success. I honestly believe that. I look at so many comics who didn't "make it" until they were in their 30's or 40's. I think I just get bitter when I see contemporaries of mine who are younger and making A LOT of money. I feel that I need to make it while I'm young or else I'm screwed, that's what LA can do to you. But if I'm not meant to make it in my early/mid twenties, so be it. I just hope I never lose sight of what I do and how much I love it. The minute it becomes a job, then I lost sight of everything. Alright, the CD is done (Mathew Sweet, "Girlfriend", great CD). I'm off. I'll be posting updates from Vegas, wish me luck for Wed. night.

10/9/04
Happy birthday Nick Swardson. Just got back from an all night party at the improv (and I missed a poker game which I feel awful about), too tired to type, so I put some pics up on my scrap book page, here's a link: Nick's Party, good night.

10/8/04
Just got in from the Improv, did two spots tonight to practice for Vegas. The first show was great, every joke worked but the problem was that I was still a minute over time (I only have 7 minutes), but a buddy of mine, KP Anderson, (who is a producer and writer for "Last Comic Standing") made a suggestion on how I can shorten my time. I honestly was against the idea at first because he suggested I cut out one of my strongest bits, but he made some points about how this bit didn't showcase me as a person and a persona. He said it's funny but it's more observational than personal, which is important. And after thinking about it, I decided to try it his way. And there is one other reason, but I don't want to jinx it...I know that didn't make sense, but trust me, I understand what I mean. And I know this blog is public so you should be able to understand what I mean, but you know what, fuck you, this is still mine! >:-P OK, that was a bit harsh, I'm sorry. <:-) Anywho, I got some good business stuff done today. I wrote a script that I had some "heat" on a few years ago (made it into Project Greenlight in 2002) and then it just kinda died. So now what I'm going to do is send out a copy of the treatment (a brief explanation of the story) and a mock up movie poster to a bunch of studios and see what happens. It's going to cost me a pretty penny, but hell, if I get some interest on it, it'll be worth it. This script is really good and I just don't want to sit back and watch it do nothing. I really feel like I need to take control of my career again and not leave it up to my "people". I bought "Farenheit 9/11" and "Aladdin" today, is that not a jump from one end of the movie spectrum to the other. I've seen them both, but I can't wait to see them again. Watched the debates tonight, I thought Kerry really had Bush on the ropes, it was nice to see Kerry more headstrong and on the offensive with Bush. Plus he cracked a good joke. I was talking about this with Marc Maron (who's got a great show on Air America Radio). It's fun to talk politics since I don't know shit about sports. Alrighty, I'm off to shut eye land.

10/7/04
Greetings all who read this tripe (all 4 of you, and I'm probably being generous there), I'm doing a rare daytime entry now. Just watched last night's episode of "Lost" (god bless Tivo...how weird, I capatalized Tivo but not god...geesh) and now I'm just chatting away online. What a life. Oh, I really feel horrible for not mentioning anything about Rodney Dangerfield passing away. I really loved his comedy and respected him so much for the career and life that he had. Here's a guy who didn't make it big until he was in his forties or so, really gives me hope, you know? There is such a bullshit thing out here in LA that youth is king. Fuck, there are guys who are younger than me without the experience I have getting development deals and television appearances and I'm sitting here with my finger in my ass wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong. And it's not that I'm old or anything, it's that I'm not "LA Young" anymore, fuck. Ramble, ramble, ramble. I just got a call from Doug James to do his gig in Huntington Beach tonight, so that's good, it'll give me time to practice material for Vegas and make a little cash. Oh, I did a spot at the District last night and ate it. I hate it when I have to practice material and have a shitty show, it gives me no confidence in the material. Anyway, I'm going to run some errands and then get some coffee I think. Later.

10/5/04
I am tired once again. The gig in Victorsville was a lot of fun tonight, the crowd was surprisingly fun. I did mostly crowd work, which they loved, and I tried a bunch of new bits, and I'd say 85% of them worked. I'm still having trouble with the "Garden of Eden" joke, but John Roy (who featured) gave me a few tags for it, so we'll see if they work. I'm trying to get up a lot this week, gotta call The Comedy District about going up there Wed. and Thurs. and then I'm going to try to sneak up at the Improv sometime this weekend. I also burned out 10 copies of my new demo DVD for the festival next week, I think I'll burn 10 more, just in case. Anywho, I'm off to bed. Oh (big ego moment), I made this cool desktop thing if anyone wants to download it. Yes, it's me, but it's one of my favorite pictures with a cool effect. If you want to see it, please do: Desktop Download. Just right click, save it and set it as desktop background. Later ya'll.

10/4/04
Very tired, I did a Skippy set tonight at the Ramada, it went over like a fart in church, in temple, in synagague, frankly no matter where a fart is let go, it sucks. I actually got a few laughs as Skippy, but man, Brian Kieth Ethridge had a phenomal set. He got everyone (4 audience members and 8 comics) dying. I know I should be practicing my set for Vegas next week, but I didn't want to do my material in that room, I'd lose all confidence in it. I'm trying to get some sets around town to practice for the Fest. I'm doing a Doug James gig in Victorville tomorrow...oh yeah, to those not in the know, Doug James is a guy who books gigs around LA (by around, I mean no less than 50 miles outside of LA). They're usually pretty fun and it's a good way to make some cash while in town. I also think I'm going to go up at the Comedy District and the Improv this week. Holy shit, Jennifer Lopez in on "Inside the Actors Studio". Are you shitting me!? That's like Micheal Jackson on the...uh...oh shit, insert your joke here. Anyway, I'm tired and I'm going to bed. I'm so tired of traveling. Oh, the wedding was great, I love ya Craig and Jac!

10/2/04
What a hectic weekend. I'm now in the lobby of my hotel in Owego, NY, I'm here for the wedding which is in 5 hours. I'm also in the lobby because I'm sharing a room with my brother and his girlfriend, and they're sleeping. I tell ya, nothing gets me less depressed than being one of 2 single guys at a wedding AND sharing my room with a couple. Man, life is grand! Nah, I'm cool with it, but my brother also snores like a mofo. My body is so out of whack from traveling and lack of sleep. We had a batchelor party, nothing worth talking about, but we didn't get in until about 3 AM and had to get up early to drive up here. I love my friend and his wife is wonderful, but man, when I get married, I am having my wedding in a city that's got easy access to an airport (so no one has to drive 4 hours from the nearest big airport to get there), I might just have 2 ceremonies, an east coast and west coast, so everyone I want to come could see it without having to blow money to fly. I'll have the fancy one on the east coast where my family is, and then have a fun, easy one on the west coast where my comic friends are. Maybe have it at Six Flags. OK, gotta go get the tux, later.