I just could not fall asleep, no matter what I did. It got to the point that my heart would start to flutter if I was falling asleep. Like I was scared or something. I was on the verge of tears. Does that happen to any of you out there? I just couldn't do it.

Nothing is more frustrating than something that is out of your hands...and it shouldn't be. Sleep has always been one of those things that I was pretty much in control of. I decided when and where...and with who. (rim shot!) But every blue moon I find myself at a complete loss of power when it comes to sleep. My brain just wouldn't shut off. I hate that. I get a song stuck or my thoughts are just running on overtime. Hopefully tonight will be easier.

Well, I came home today and got some crummy news; my taping of "Comics Unleashed" is being postponed. They said that they want to tape them a bit later so they can air them during May sweeps, which is great. I just hope that I'm in town to shoot the episode. I talked to the guy and he was really cool. He said that it shouldn't be a problem. I just know that with this business things can change in an instant. But I'm not going to think like that, I'm going to think positive and know that everything will be fine. Right? Right!

OK, I am off to sleep now...hopefully. G'night everyone.

OH...I have to thank everyone at the University of Oklahoma for a great time! The show was so much fun and everyone there was so helpful and cool. I really appreciate everything guys; you rule!!!

3/28/07
It's 3:45 in the morning and I can't fucking sleep. I am flying out tomorrow...er, this morning at 9:50 and I am supposed to wake up at 7:30, but whenever I know that I need to get up early, I can't fall asleep. It's like my brain is anticipating waking up. This sucks royally.

And I know I am tired, but I just don't feel tired. Does that make sense? I shouldn't be making sense, my brain is mush right now. I'm surprised there aren't any spelling errors...and if there are, fuck it.

I know that tomorrow is going to suck now because I have to fly all day and perform tomorrow...er, tonight. I'll try and sleep on the plane, but since I'm flying Delta, I have to stop in Atlanta for a layover before I fly back to Oklahoma.

What the fuck Delta? Seriously, I mean Atlanta is a nice place and all but I don't need to see it on every fucking trip I take with you!

OK, ok, I need to force myself to sleep now...lullaby's...counting sheep...jerking off....jerking off to sheep singing lullaby's! That did it...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

EPILOUGE

Incidentally, I didn't get any fucking sleep. It's now 7:15 am and I'm about to get some breakfast and catch my shuttle to the airport. Here's hoping I sleep on the plane. Oy...

3/25/07
I am so tired for some reason. It's only midnight and I got a lot of sleep last night, yet for whatever reason, I'm barely able to keep my eyes open. Actually, it's not my eyes so much as it is that I'm yawning.

Does that ever happen to you? You don't have all of the symptoms of being tired, only yawning...but that's enough I guess. I mean my body isn't that tired...if it was, trust me, I wouldn't be blogging....and my eyes aren't heavy. I'm just yawning. Well, I guess the I'll just lie in bed and try to fall asleep.

I need to get to the gym tomorrow, I've gone about 3 days now and I'm really trying to get back into the habit of going. It was just that my neck and back were killing me that I didn't want to push it. And yes, I'm feeling much better, thanks for asking. Still don't know what I did to make it hurt like that.

Today was rather boring. I decided what jokes to do on "Comics Unleashed" and I burned that Skippy set onto a DVD to send to some people. I really am proud of that set; it just worked so perfectly.

OK, now my body is getting tired. How do ya like that? Becareful what you wish for....or blog about. Whatever. I'm going to sleep. Night.

3/23/07
Evening all, I am sitting at my computer in pain right now. I don't know what I did to myself last night, but my shoulder/back is FUCKING KILLING ME! Really, really, fucking killing me. I have a hot pad on it now, kinda helping, but still hurts. I'm hoping that it will feel better tomorrow since I have a gig tomorrow night.

Well, for those of you who are paying attention, you'll notice that two dates with Jamie have been rebooked; Atlanta on April 5 and Ft. Lauderdale on April 7. The other dates, however, I don't think I'll be able to do. They'll most likely be rescheduled around the same time that I am on the road doing other shows. It sucks cause I really wanted to work with Jamie on a little tour, but I can't cancel these shows, I've had them booked for awhile now. And they're all headlining shows which is what I really want to start doing regularly.

On another subject, I got the call today that I will be appearing on the TV show Comics Unleashed! This is really a fun show, I've seen a lot of my friends on it so I'm thrilled to be doing it. I'm taping it April 3, don't know when it's going to air, but don't you worry, I'll letcha'll know. And yes, I just combined the words: "let", "you" and "all" into one word. 'Cause I'm clever.

OK, wanna see something funny? I would hope so, I mean you're on my page, so I assume you want funny. I mean who comes to FlipSchultz.com (or FlipIsFunny.com...depending on how you got here. Or yes, even www.FlipEatsShit.org) and expects to read something about widdling or smelting. Anyway, last night I did a spot as Skippy and it was great. And what's even better is that I got it all on tape and it is now on Myspace. But you don't have to go all the way over there to see it, I've got it right here...and be warned, it's dirty:

Hi-larious, no?

I can't tell ya how proud I am that Skippy is being received so well. It's bizarre; the character is just so out there and filthy, yet people really respond to him. The ladies especially...hehehehe. Now let's just hope Saturday Night Live will see the video and say, "Hey, he's good, let's bring him in."

OK, I'm off to sleep in pain, hope you guys are smiling....VOLTRON!

3/21/07
So today was a bitter sweet day; good news and bad news. Let's start with the bad news...all but one of my tour dates with Jamie have been cancelled. We might still be doing Emory University this Monday, but most likely not. But all of the other dates have been cancelled....actually postponed but I don't know for when. This sucks because I was looking forward to touring with him, but I guess he's got some serious shit going on. I'm trying not to stress because of the money I laid out for the plane tickets...but you know what, everything happens for a reason, right? It's like "The Secret" says, don't think anything negative or negative things will come to you. So, no negative, I'm sure everything will be fine.

Now the good news...

I picked up 4 weeks of dates with Pablo in April and August. Something about "A" months, I guess. So that should be fun. And I'm pretty sure that Pablo and I are going back to tour Europe! How amazing is that???

See, things are fine. Just breath Flip, breath.

Today was also fun because my buddy Malik came out today and is crashing with me. Well, he's friends with DL Hughley, so he got us on the set of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip today and it was sooo fucking cool. I am a fan of that show so to actually be on that set was amazing. I really hope the show finds its audience. DL was very cool and we met Steven Weber and Timothy Busfield. Ooo, I'm sorry, I'm just dropping all of these names everywhere. Hehehehe...

Well, I'm off to sleep. Think positive thoughts kids. And I'm sorry to my friends in Atlanta, Chicago, Philly and Boston. Like I said, I'm sure it's all going to be rescheduled, remember...it's all part of a bigger picture.

....and sleep!

3/19/07
Wow, two blogs in a row...I must not be feeling well...or bored; take your pick. I'm actually a little under the weather, allergies again. So I took tonight off, stayed in and watched a really great movie, The King of Comedy. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out. It's Robert Deniro unlike you've ever seen him; he plays a stand-up comedian. It's funny and scary all at the same time. But here's what was interesting about watching it. The movie is basically about how Deniro (and Sandra Bernhard) are obsessed with Jerry Langford (Jerry Lewis), who is like a Johnny Carson...that would be Jay Leno for the younger readers. So they eventually kidnap him.

Anyway, the story goes on but while watching it I started to think about the fans that I have. Now, I'm sure that none of them are obsessed me and want to kidnap me....right? Good. But I really started thinking about when (not if) I get really famous and attract some really insane people who have an unhealthy obsession with me. It does happen. Letterman had his stalker, so did Michael J. Fox, Madonna; a lot of people. It really is a scary thing to think about, but it is the price that one pays to be in the public eye, right?

Now, I'm not saying that these people have the right to violate celebrities; they don't. No one has the right to barge into someone's private life. But when you're public life is accessible to everyone, I guess that some "eccentric" people see that as an invitation to their private lives.

Don't really know where I'm going with this, just know that I hope all of you respect my privacy, but if you see me at a club or something, come on up and say, "Hey there Flip, I really like what you do. You're awesome." And I'll say, "Wow, thanks a lot, I really appreciate it." We'll shake hands, take a picture, whatever, and then we all go about our lives feeling great.

Now, if you have the urge to tell me about your prostate, or share pictures of your trip to Holland, or kidnap me, do me a favor...don't. :)

Oh, I got some myspace messages, apparently my Live At Gotham aired this morning...cool! Thanks to my new friends and I'll be expecting a nice check! Yay!!!

Night all, I'm off to porn land.

3/18/07
So tonight is the kind of night that makes me feel so lucky to do what I do.

I'm at the Hollywood Improv; just hanging out. I'm hoping to get some time on the second show tonight and the manager says that it's possible and to stick around. Well, as I'm waiting, who shows up?...Nick Swardson and he wants time as well. Well, since he's a bigger name (and doesn't go up as much), they give him a set. But as the night progresses, Jeffery Ross shows up...followed by Ty Barnett, and then Todd Glass, and then Craig Robinson, and then Gary Gulman...it was so fucking cool.

Long story short, most everyone went up in front a small crowd, but they had a good time. I ended up going up later and by then the crowd had dwindled down to about 18 or so...and I still did really well. Without sounded too narcasistic...I killed. I mean I got applause breaks in front of that crowd. Gary went on last, he did about 30 minutes or so and did really well too. Again, applause breaks from a very tired crowd. I was really impressed with him.

On a completely seperate note, I watched The Secret the other day, and I have to tell you...it really inspired me. No joke here, it just really got me pumped up. I had heard things here and there about it, but I was a bit skeptic. I mean I saw What The Bleep...? and I liked it. I got a lot out of it, but I wasn't sure if The Secret was anything more than an inflated version of "Bleep"...which it was really. But that's not to say that it isn't a good flick. Essentially the message is to visualize your success because the universe will provide what you want. It matches your thoughts; your mood. If you're depressed, you'll get more things in your life to add to your depression.

Do I believe in that stuff? To an extent, but I'm also a believer in the law of averages which basically means that good and bad co-exist so you'll never be free from bad but you have to know that good is coming. I've talked about this before.

Long story short, it is a good movie to pump you up emotionally. It's one of those things that I'll watch once a month to just recharge me.

OK, I got a callback tomorrow so I'm going to call it a night...night.

3/14/07
Evening all, I am so wiped out right now; just exhausted. I'm still on east coast time, so it's laaaate to my body.

Today was a rather uneventful day, I went to the gym for the first time in a month or so...oy, did that hurt. I also picked up some more tour dates with Jamie today, that's going to be fun but tiring as far as traveling goes.

I decided that this year will be all about road work and money. I just want to have a nice cushion of money so that next year I can stay in town and not travel as much, I want to work on my TV stuff. I need to act, I feel it in me. That's why I'm really excited to be doing Skippy next week. If you're in the Hollywood (California) area next week, come check it out. It's going to be fun as all hell. Not sure how much fun hell can be, but it's gotta be better than Palm Springs. Kidding, love the PS.

OK, I'm already punch drunk tired, I can feel it, so I'm going to call it a night.

3/12/07
OK, I have some time now to write for the ol' blog. I'm presently 36,000 feet in the air flying back to LA from Ft. Lauderdale...where I was for less than a day after flying from Asheville, NC Sunday morning. Oy, a lot of traveling. This year is going to be the most traveled year for me ever I think. I've got a lot of gigs booked, and some that are coming. It's interesting; I'm doing exactly what I want, but it's very hard. Don't get me wrong, I love it and I'm blessed, but it's just as hard as any other job I guess. Actually, the hardest part is maintaining this momentum.

SIDENOTE: I just remembered I forgot to take my Airbourne..shit.

I'm looking forward to the 2 weeks that I'll have off now; no traveling for two weeks. I'll just be sitting pretty in LA, doing some shows around town, including a set as Skippy on March 22. I tell ya, Skippy is really becoming a favorite among my friends. I just hope the "people" (that would be most of you) like him. I just uploaded "The Skippy Greene Story" to youtube; it's the short film that opened the live show I did last year with Kyle. I'm thinking of doing the show again for fun this summer. I'll see if Kyle has some time for it. It's just fun.

I know that so much has happened, but it's all kinda like a blur for me. I can't believe it's March already; seriously. Where did the time go?

It's times like these that I'm glad I don't have a girlfriend. I just couldn't imagine being away from someone I care about for so long...plus finding someone who can understand what I do? One day I hope...no, I'm sure. I was hanging out with someone in Florida, but that ended rather abruptly. I won't go into details because I have respect for her privacy, (even though you don't know her and I wouldn't mention her name, but I'm sure she reads this and would get mad all the same) but all I'll say is that to me, women are harder to figure out than a blind/armless/stroke victim trying to figure out a Rubix Cube. What the hell goes on in the mind of woman that suddenly makes her go: "Hey...let me completely freak out on a guy and scare the shit out of him."

Again, no details, but I'm sure you can all use your imagination.

I'm actually reminded of a joke about this very situation, it's not my joke, but it's one of the most brilliant lines I'm ever heard:
"The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Charles Manson has the descency to look insane when you meet him."
So true.

Incidentally, that quote is from Richard Jeni, and I'm sure you've heard that he (apparently) committed suicide this past weekend. When I heard that, my heart sank. I'm not just saying this, he was one of my favorite comics ever and the best comedy writer of my time. He could take any premise and just mine the shit out of it for every laugh. Just when you think there was nothing left in a joke, he would come out with 10 more hilarious minutes. I've always said that.

I heard he had issues (as most comics have), but I never knew they went as far as they apparently did.

I never had the pleasure of working with him, but I did meet him a few times and he was gracious and cool. One time at the Hollywood Improv he asked me what I thought of a joke he was working on. I felt honored. The world of comedy lost a real hero.

I can't think of anything that would make me want to end my life, you know? I mean I've been depressed, I'm have the thoughts, but never the desire, never the want. There's so much I have to do before I go. I say "have", not "want" because to want means that you're not positive it will come to be, have means that it will.

OK, the plane is shaking a lot, and that makes me a bit nervous. I've flown hundreds of times, and yet turbulence gets to me every time.

Anyway, I'm going to watch a DVD and chill out. I'm actually on my way to Houston first for a layover and then to LA...fun, fun, fun.

Oh, on a quick sidenote, I want to thank everyone from the "John Boy & Billy Comedy Classic" in Asheville. It was so much fun to be there. The show was so great, the crowds were amazing and the women...well, you know who you are, you gals were stunningly beautiful. Also, big thanks to my friends Craig and Jacquolyn for coming down for the day. It was great to see you too. Plus, Jay and Matti Winer, thanks for everything!

OK, movie time. Cya guys later.

Rest in peace Richard.

3/7/07
OK, so it's been forever since a blog entry, I know. Seriously, I know, I've been really, really busy. And to top it off, I'm still on dial up which would make it hard for anyone who's used to high-speed DSL.

The big news would be that I did my first college showcase and I ended up booking 19 colleges!!! It's insane, I already have 2 on my tour schedule now. I can't thank all of the schools enough. It was a wonderful experience and I can only hope this will be the first of many college conferences I attend.

There have been some personal things going on, but I don't have the time nor the energy to get into it now. We'll just say that women continue to amaze me.

Well, I'm off to tend to another big (potential) project. Keep smiling and send thoses vibes this a'way; it's always appreciated. ;)