I do want to give mucha thanks to one of my fans (still sounds silly to say) Jennifer for not only coming to the Barely Standing Show in Brea, but for giving me a really great gift. She saw that I am going to Europe and bought me all of this travel stuff that I would've had to get myself. I can't thank you enough Jennifer.

I'm so looking forward to Europe, it's going to be so amazing. Oh, and if anyone is in the Lake Charles, LA. area, come on down to see me, Josh Wolf and Theo Von at the Lake Charles Civic Center. Should be a great show. That show actually starts my big 3 month tour. Well, not 3 months continuously, but pretty damn close. Fuck, I still have plane tickets to buy.

And speaking of buying, I am getting a new car! It's time, my car has held up for 9 good years, but as of late, it's been breaking down and I've been putting more and more money back into it. After a recent problem (the air conditioning broke, perfect for out here in the summer), and they found more problems with it, I said, "Forget it, I'm getting a new one." I think I know which kind I'm going to get, I'm going over to the dealer on Tuesday to check some of them out. The only thing that's gonna suck is that I will now be going back to monthly payments again. Haven't had to do that for years. Oh well, 'tis the price I guess.

Well, I'm going to get ready for my show tonight at the Improv and then obsess some more over my friends' site. Smile.

7/23/06
I was about to go to sleep but then I realized that there have only been 4 blog entries this month...that is wrong! I need to start doing this thing daily like I used to. I've neglected the shit out of this thing. But that problem is...nothing is happening..well, nothing that I want to talk about publicly. And right now, I'm about to pass out...so come to think of it, I shouldn't have even started this thing tonight.

7/21/06
Evening all, hope you're doing well...I am. So what's been going on...well, I had an interesting adventure with a woman last week. I don't want to bore you with details, but let's just say it's par for the course for me. You know what I'm thinking, I think that it's better for me to be single for awhile; just not even try anymore. And besides, I'm about to tour for almost 3 months straight...so now wouldn't be the ideal time to "try and get to know someone". Now is more the time to "have some road fun". Actually, that's not as true as I might like it to be. I'm so over just random sex, that's the problem. I'm to the point to where I would like something serious, but my job makes it difficult. But I'm usually not the aggresive type when it comes to pursuing women after a show.

Wouldn't it be easier if there could just be honesty when it comes to those situations? Just a guy can walk over to a girl and say, "Listen, I think you're very attractive and I would love to have wonderful, concentual and safe sex with you. You will have a great time, I will have a great time and that will be it." None of the bullshit "So where ya from?...Can I buy you a drink?...Oh really, you have 4 cats?..." I mean if the woman says, "Yes, that would be great, let's have sex." Then I will buy her some drinks and listen to her, because I know that she and I will be having sex later. It's incentive for us. See everybody wins in that situation. First of all everyone gets laid. Secondly, a guy doesn't feel like he's wasting his time and money, and the girl has someone to talk to who's a real "listener". And the guy will be listening too ladies. See, normally when you're talking, most guys are just thinking, "How the hell can I get her in bed?"...and thereby totally ignoring what you're saying. But if he knows that he's getting laid, he is truly listening to you. It's really a win/win situation. So come on guys, just be honest with the ladies, and ladies, don't be offended, just be honest and say yes or no about having sex. If you say no, that's cool, we'll thank you and move on. No harm, no foul.

Man, I'm tired.

Had a great set at the Improv tonight, and I experienced a huge milestone. Lookie what I saw as I walked up to the Improv tonight: WOW!!! Pretty fucking cool, huh? I mean that is the Improv. The Original Hollywood Improv. That's where Leno, Kaufman, Carrey, Ramano...EVERYONE...that's where they started; where they came from. And now my name has graced that marquee. So insane.

Okey dokey, I'm off to slumber...well, first to jerk off, then to sleep. Maybe I'll dream about jerking off and kill two birds with one stone. Hmm....night-night.

7/12/06
Evening all. So I was thinking about what I want to write about in my blog...and I'm thinking that I don't know what I want to write about. I've got a few things on my mind right now and it's all so clouded. I'm thinking about my career and how nice it is now, but how much better it could be. I know that LCS has helped me in a big way as far as reaching out to new people and getting some more credibility in the business. But damn, I keep thinking, "what if I actually made it to the finals"? I've been watching the show and I just think of what I would've done in certain situations, especially the roast. My god, I would've had soooo much fun with that. I know, I know, I should be grateful for getting where I got, and trust me, I am...but if I was content with "almost getting there", I wouldn't be much of a success. No successful person ever rested on their laurels (or hardy's), they always pushed themselves to be further. That's what I'm doing, I'm pushing myself. And granted, LCS was completely out of my control, but it still is giving me fuel for success. I am visualizing my future; my success.

Tonight was fun, I did a spot at the Improv and there were so many friends there. Chris Porter, Kyle Cease, Nikki Glaser, Bert Kriescher, Anthony Clark; just a bunch of great people. My set was pretty good. I don't have any real new stuff, so I've been coming down on myself lately for that. I go through phases: sometimes I can't keep track of all the ideas I have and other times (like now) my mind is a barren wasteland with nothing creative spewing forth. Only thoughts of porn and food...sometimes together. Mmm...sandwiches. Annnywho....I did decide that this Sunday, I am going to do Skippy Greene for my spot. I don't care if it bombs, I just want to do the character. I haven't done Skippy for awhile. So it should be fun. Buy I digress... So tonight was a blast. Afterwards I hung around for the second show and shot the shit with friends and comics. But as the night progressed, I started feeling more anti-social. This is going to sound a bit fucked up, but I think it was because I wasn't drinking. I decided that after my night of drinking (and eventual vomiting) in Tempe, that I was going to lay off the booze for awhile. So tonight everyone was having a drink or two, laughing and whatnot...I was sipping my water, and I felt awkward. Now I'm not an alcoholic, trust me, I've seen them and I know that I'm not...but I found it strange that because I didn't drink, I felt anti-social. Then again I could be completely wrong and my anti-social behavior was nothing more that just being tired. Who knows?

What else...? Well, still lonely. But I think that's a given by this point. OH!....

Wanted to tell you about what happened to me recently. OK, well, I was working with a comic who I've known for awhile, about 7 years or so. I'm not going to say that we are great friends or anything, but we know each other, respect each other and like each other. We've hung out outside of a comedy club...let's just say, good aquaintances. So the first night at the club, I ask him if he minds if I sell my merchandise. He gives a look and I explain that my merchandise is where I really make my money, and since he makes far more than me from the clubs. Well, he never said "no", so I figured it was cool. So towards the end of my set, I do my schpeel where I plug my website and do a joke about my merch saying that all the money goes to a charity...just kidding, it goes to pot. Ha-ha. Apparently, this sends him up the wall because his money actually does go to charity, and I fucked that up for him. And to be honest, I totally understand why he'd be angry...100% understandable. After my set, he goes on stage and does his show. At that point, the club manager walks me into his office and (kindly) explains that the headliner is beyond pissed at what I did and asked that I not sell anything. So I'm looking at him with a very confused/pissed off look. He tells me that he'll talk to the comic later about a compromise, but for tonight, please don't sell. Long story short, for the rest of the week, I didn't mention my website or merchandise on stage, and I sold my merchandise outside as people walked down some stairs. Very embarrassing.

OK...here's why I was really pissed. Aside from the obvious, I was mad that this comic (who I've known for years) couldn't just talk to me like a friend. He had to go through the manager to do this. Come on, be a fucking man, face me and tell me yourself. I mean this comic is a really decsent guy, but this whole event left a horrible taste in my mouth about him. I could see why he was mad about the charity joke, got it. And I could see that if I was selling next to him, it might take money from his cause. Gotcha. So let's compromise this way: I don't mention any of my shit, then after you get off stage, I plug the hell out of your merchandise (which I did) and then, almost as an aside, mention that I too have a CD and DVD for sale outside; just so they're not surprised to see me whoring myself as they walk to their cars. Again, I know he's got his cause, but I've got mine too...it's called rent and food. I hope one day I can take afford to take my merch money and give it to a wonderful cause, but as for now...Daddy's broke! Yes, I referred to myself as 'Daddy'.

Anyway, just needed to vent. Well my bloggers, I hope you enjoyed this, and as a treat, I am going to post something very interesting. I recently found a hidden page on my site that I had forgotten about. I made it like 6 years ago, I guess you can call it my original blog. It was only 2 entries a year apart, but it was a small point in time for me that I'm going to share with you. So here ya go, enjoy:

Congrats, you found a special page. This is a page that I'm starting just so I have a venue to vent thoughts, feelings, etc. Dont' ask me why, I guess I'll figure it out through this little page.

4/10/00:
Well, I'm in Tulsa, OK now. It's Monday night and I don't have a show until Wednesday, so I'm lying on my bed in their condo watching TV. You know, people always think that being a comedian is a great time all the time, and it is a blast, don't get me wrong. But the times like this, when you're away from home, away from family and friends and you don't have a show to look forward to tonight, you start looking at everything in your life.

5/13/01
I've decided that I am going to start this page up again, as you can see, it's been awhile since I last posted anything. I'm living in LA now, and I've been here for about 5 months now. I'll tell you the truth, it's really exciting, but right now I'm very lonely. I have no family out here, and today being Mother's Day, it really hurts. I have some comic friends, but no real friends yet, and, most importantly, I have no girlfriend. I am really needing someone now. So, what I've decided to do to vent a bit is post a poem I wrote (yes, I write other than comedy). If you can decifer this, you might be figuring out some of the 'real me':

"THE USUAL"
Gingerly treading down forgotten boulevard,
I reminisce about pleasure and pain all too real.
Calling out to a broken echo,
sensing presence but seeing nothing to present.
Beating in and out towards hollow places of happy times no more.
Follow me, won’t you?
Follow me hard.
Thinking of licking dreams off a lollipop, so sweet and luscious. Hard.
Dance with me my forgotten flower and fly the breeze on a whiff of blush.
Spread arms and lips and taste me once more.
Ignore the ones with daggers, pass the night to the day, skip pain to embrace pleasure.
He sees and preys, while I watch and wait.
Look again, closer to see.
I am just a watcher of wonder and I wonder what I watch.
Tick-tock, time runs,
can’t catch’em, only catch up.
Split, split, splat!
Forget-me-not diamond queen,
you glisten and shine in my reflection.
Call me but once and forever I am but a smiling touch from you….a whisper.
Forever in beat and rhythm and time with your light.
Find your way through.
Find my way too.
So may you be with that piece of peace for which you pine on for.
Live to love or love to live-
I am satisfied but with a look.

7/10/06
Sorry for the week long blog dry spell, but I was in Tempe and they didn't have high-speed...only dial up. Yeech. And I'm sorry to say that today will not be a long entry due to the fact that I am not feeling quite well. I'm actually in the Tempe airport right (and yes, they have wireless), and I misread my ticket, so I'm here 3 hours early. But that's not why I'm feeling sick...I had a pretty late night which lead to a pretty disgusting event. You know what, I'm not going to sugar coat it...I got sick a few times. I haven't felt like that in a long time, not even in Alaska which was a much harder, drinking crowd. So anyway, I'm all "yeeched" up and just want to get home...BUT...I have to be in Brea tonight for a show. Oy.

The week here was fun, except for one big thing which I won't get into now. Sorry, just don't have the energy now.

I'm going to try to nap...in the airport. Is that weird or sad? I dunno.

7/4/06
Well happy 4th of July to everyone...hope you all have a fun day of drinking and playing with explosives. Always boogled my mind that that's what we combined the 4th with. I mean I understand the drinking, hell, we're celebrating the birth of our nation. You know the fore-fathers threw'em back, so should we. Hells yeah. And then the fireworks...ok, sure. Fireworks are an explosion, just like the explosion of pride we're all feeling about our country. Sure, let's do it. Let's show our pride with bright, colorful explosions in the sky...and in the streets. BUT...putting the two of them together??? Uh, nope. I think there should be a designated exploder. I mean working with fireworks drunk can be just as dangerous as driving drunk. So let's have one person who doesn't drink at least until after EVERY firework is gone. I'm sure that'll save on a lot of accidents. Then again, they'll be that one drunk fuck who "thinks" they're sober enough to light up a 'Screamin Motherfucker' (not sure if that's a real firework...but it should be) and he's like, "Hell man, I know what I'm doing." "But Zeke, you're not the designated exploder" "Aw c'mon, it's simple. You light this end and let'er go! Woo!!!" Cut to: "DAMN! MY FINGERS!!!!!!!!!!!" Ah, the sounds of Darwinism at work.

Well, I just got back from doing a show at the Ramada, what fun. Tonight was a very small crowd, not surprising though considering it's a holiday weekend. I brought out Little Skippy tonight...the comics liked it, and considering there were pretty much only comics there, that didn't tell me much. It's always fun to do that kind of stuff though; just fucking around, trying something new and different. I've always said that comedy should walk that line, be dangerous and daring. Look, I know that my act normally isn't that daring, it's kinda safe. I mean I can do some dark things, but I usually come back to safer shit. Then again, when I do the darker stuff, I think I get away with it because I seem to come off likable. I mean how many comics can do a "fist-fucking Barbara Bush" joke and still have a cherub face??? Not many.

On that note...G'night!