7/30/05
I'm writing this entry before my 2 shows tonight, it's raining outside and for some reason, I felt compelled to write. I don't know what it is about rain that makes me do that. If I wasn't doing this, I might be looking at my "joke notebook" and working on some bits. I think alot of creative people find the raining stimulating. I haven't seen rain like this is awhile; it's terrential. Out in Cali, it hardly ever rains hard. Wow, thunder crash. DAMN...a big thunder crash. I might lose power, so I better make this quick. Actually, there's nothing to report, today I got some lunch with a friend and watched a DVD, I won't tell you which one cause you'll make fun of me...alright, it was A Chorus Line. Altogether now, "Are you gay?"...No. Shit, the power just went off, God bless laptops. OK, I'm signing off, bye.

7/29/05
Another day, another couple of shows. The first show tonight was great, fantastic, sold out! Thanks to all who showed up, and the comics this week are really great, Maurice Johvan and Ian Grotowski. Sold some merchandise and felt great...then there was the second show. Oy. Now, I'm not sure if you know, but the late show Friday has the reputation of being the worst show of the week, as a matter of fact, Steve Martin said that was the reason he stopped doing stand up. Seriously. See Friday is the end of the week for most people (myself excluded) and they go out and drink a bit, fine. But then they come to a comedy show, already drunk, and drink some more. So the second show started and I could tell that there was a party of those pre-partiers there, young and drunk. I'd rather they not let them in and lose the money, hell, take the money out of my check, fuck it. So when I got up there, they were loud and obnoxious, I told them a couple of times to keep it down, and then when I had like 5 minutes left, I just snapped...again! I know, I did this last week (see blog entry for 7/18/05) but I just can't escape assholes. And what really sucked was that the rest of the crowd was great, but these fuckers ruined it for them by pissing me off. And usually in a situation like this, I'd doing some crowd work with them, but I know enough that these guys wouldn't contribute anything creative, they'd only be dicks so I just embarrassed them by pointing out what pricks they were being. Whatever, I'm venting now. The rest of the weekend should be fun. The other thing I hated about the late show was that it was smoking, hate that. I understand that when you're in a club, people want to light up, but as a non-smoker, it really sucks. Then the lobby/bar was smokey too, just really uncomfortable. After the show I went into doing Skippy for some people and the other comic, and I had them rolling. I'm really getting pscyhed about the show, I have such a great feeling about it. This is my baby, you know? Well, it's 2:50 am so I'm going to call it a night. Oh, in case I don't say it enough, thanks guys for supporting me. I mean it, I wouldn't be where I am now without you and I know I won't get to where I want to be without you. I owe ya one. Next time I see you, I'm buying you a drink....tap water is a drink, right? "OH THE JEW!"

7/27/05
It's 4:20 in the morning and I'm about to go to the airport for my flight to Tampa...fuck. I hate these early flights, especially since I didn't get into bed until about 2 am because of a late night at the Improv. And now I get to fly all day and do a headlining show tonight. Well, it's the price you pay to the gods of comedy, right? Shit, I think I'm still sleeping because that sounded like complete fairy shit. By fairy I mean "make believe" not the "Clay Aiken" kind. Gotta get my shuttle, later.

Epilouge
This is the first time I made a second entry on the same day. I'm sitting here in the bed of the Tampa condo, about to pass out. I had a good show tonight, always love this room, although merchandise sales sucked major ass. Oh well. I'm going to pass out now, just wanted to say g'night my FOF's...what's that, you don't know what I'm talking abuot? Well, you should go sign up for the message boards and see what you're missing. And while you're at it, why don't you sign up for the mailing list and be all the way special. Was that even proper grammar? Doubt it, hey, give me credit, I'm running on 2 hours of sleep.

7/24/05
Comedy is so interesting...and I love it. I had a great show tonight at the Improv, a big thanks to the Teen Tour group who was there tonight, you guys rocked! I was on such a shitty show roll and then last night I did 3 spots which all went pretty good, and then tonight which just rocked. What made tonight even better was that there was this kid who I was talking to in the crowd, and everyone said he was the quiet one, but now he's coming out of shell. And if I had anything to do with that, well damn, that makes me feel great. I remember when I was younger and was in USY and I was very shy...until I did the talent show at our summer retreat, and everyone fucking loved my act (lip syncing to a song by "Weird Al" Yankovic) and suddenly I was the king of the camp. And I just remember how being part of something cool that everyone saw help make me into the man I am now, so, again, if I helped in anyway for a shy kid to start coming out of his shell...YAY ME! I've got a big day tomorrow, got some serious Skippy stuff to do, so I'm saying night. Night. Oh, I saw The Island today, great movie.

7/22/05
My god it is late, and I'm a bit buzzed and very tired. I spent the night hanging out at the Improv with some friends, two of whom I apologize to for being less than attentive. And the other, Triana, thanks for the 80's trivia contest...I still kicked your ass. I ended up doing a spot tonight and I ate it, hard. Man, lately I've been having shitty sets, it's weird. Like a week or so ago, I was in a zone, on a roll, just couldn't have a bad set to save my life...not that would make any sense. I think I'd rather die than have a purposely shitty set...anyways... Tonight, and my past 3 or 4 sets have been mediocore to shitty. I think when I go back on the road I'll get back in the swing of things. Well, I'm about to pass out...whoops, there I go---

7/20/05
Damit, I was just playing some online poker and I got knocked off...I see their plot now. Once someone starts winning, suddenly the software crashes. Very convinent online poker people...very. Well tonight I went to see two one-person shows, one by Miranda Shade and the other by Lenny Schmidt (who is also directing the Skippy show). They were both really good, heavy and personal and still funny. That's a good show. They both delved into their lives and their pasts to write their shows. They used stories from either their fucked up childhoods, to family issues, to relationships, all of those things that shape who we are today. See, that's why my one-man show (even though it's technically two since Kyle is in it as well) is just a fictional character without any depth. My life has been really good, nothing really traumatic, you know? I never went through a divorce, I was never beaten as a kid, I'm not an alcoholic or drug user, nor is there one in my family...well, that I know of. I'm talking to you grandma. I've had shitty relationships, but who hasn't. I've never been married, have no kids...that I know of. I'm talking to you grandma....EWWWWWWWW! So that's why Skippy had to have his show, because there's nothing interesting about Flippy. But that's what's cool about doing a show as a character, I can create all of his history, his problems, etc. Even though my show is completely silly and there is no "depth", no seriousness, it's still interesting. I was thinking at the beginning to give the show some serious points, like make him the "intergalactic comedian", but now he's a has been and this is final shot. But then I thought, "That's too much." Just the idea of the character is so out there that if I tried to make it serious as well, the whole piece would be a very unfunny joke. So I said fuck it, I'm going to make a "one-man" show of this character, and just have fun with it...dark, politically incorrect, silly, sexist, dirty fun. And I think I achieved that. I hope we get people out to see it. Again, if you're in the area at the time, come on and check it out. Oh, yesterday I had a fun time, I did some stand-up at a baseball game. It was for the Fullerton Flyers. The Brea Improv is one of their sponsors, so every month they have a comic go and entertain for a bit. Well it was a double header, so I went out in between games and did about 10 minutes, it was ok. I did get heckled by this one guy, but after the night before, that didn't bother me. Then I was supposed to do like 2 minutes in the middle of the 4th inning, so instead of going back on the field, I went in the announcer's booth and did my Regis Philban impression and just commented on the game. I don't know if the crowd laughed..or even understood what was going on...but I had fun and the Improv people loved it. I have a few pics from that I'll be putting up soon. Well, online poker is calling me, so I'm off.

7/18/05
I was debating on how to start this entry, should I start out with an explanation of why I'm about to vent, or should I just start with the words that are teetering on my fingers to type? I'm going to go with the words....I FUCKING HATE ASSHOLES! Now, I know that I'm probably not alone, I doubt there are people sending in money to save the assholes or anything. So that brings up another question, why would I state something that's obvious to anyone? Because I experienced a drunk, asshole of a heckler tonight and I'm just livid. Tonight I did 2 spots, the first was a bit off, not completely horrible, but I've been better. Then I went to this other place and usually this place is slamming and the crowds are amazing, but it goes late. So if you're lucky enough to go on early, you get killer crowds, but if you're the unfortunate one to go on later in the night, you run the risk of going in front of tired, drunk people. Well, as I'm sure you can guess, I experience the later. But not just drunk, I'm talking DRUUUUUUNK! And this guy was a fucking prick, right from the get go. These 4 dumb fucks, well just one and his slightly nicer friends, came in right as I went on and this dick just started with me right away. It got so bad, I called him the 'c' word. Yeah, I think I've said that word on stage maybe 5 times (not counting as Skippy), so the fact that he brought that kind of anger out of me should tell you just how bad he was. And from then I just wasn't into because this guy got to me. I hate to admit, but he got under my skin and that's the worst thing a heckler could do. He eventually left for a bit and then came back toward the end and yelled, "Boo!" After which a very large man got up and went to kick his ass...that was nice. And then I said, "Well, I can't follow that, good night." What made me laugh was that afterwards, two different people wanted to give me ideas on how to punch up some of my bits. I appreicate the gesture, but that set and the material that I did, they were subpar in every way imaginable. I know that the material was weak and my delivery was off, trust me. I've been doing stand up for over 12 years. But instead of saying that, I just politely nodded and said thanks. One of the guys is a friend of mine and he's funny, and I think he knew that I knew the act was off. But this other guy who I didn't know was telling me how to improve my stage presence or something like that, I wasn't really listening, I was just thinking how much I want to leave. Urrgh, that heckler just pissed me off so much, he reminded me of the guys in middle school who would pick on me and I just wanted to punch him or something. I know that what I should've done was tell him what a dick he is being and how he's embarrassing himself and not me. But instead, I went into "comic defense mode" and tried to be funny and insult him...it didn't work. And then I just went balistic on him. I was yelling at him. Again, it was almost like getting out this latent aggression that I've had in me since middle school or something. It's a good thing I stopped when I did or I might've blurted out, "And stop shoving me into lockers!" God, middle school. Man, I was picked on in middle school, but not as bad as I should've been. I say that because, luckily, my mom was a teacher there. So I would get taunted, but never beat up. Thanks mom. Well, now I'm all cozzied up in my bed and ready to sleep, so I say good night my friends. And if there are any hecklers lurking on this site...I'm too tired to think of a snappy come back, so I'll just say, "Why?" Seriously, why do people heckle? It doesn't help the act. You're not funny. In the end, you look like a dick and I get paid. I was thinking about that, out here, I don't get paid for a lot of the sets I do, I do it because I love it. I'm lucky enough to have a job that I love so much, I'll do it for free in the most unappreciative environments. I've done stand up for free at bars, clubs, laundry mats, restaurants, cafeterias, book stores, and more shitty places I can't think of right now. That's how much I love doing it. I don't think there are that many other jobs that people would have that kind of devotion. If you're an accountant, would go to crunch numbers in the middle of a steel mill? Doubt it. What about a mechanic? Would you fix a car at a library? With people shhhing you all the time? No, you'd go, "Fuck this, I don't need to do this." See, we as comics can do that, we can say, "Fuck this. I'm not going up at 12:50 in the morning on a stage in a room in the back of club with 8 drunk, loud people sitting there. I don't need to." We can say that, but 9 out of 10 comics will still go up there. We're going up there to get better and to chase that high we get when we make them laugh. I'm constantly looking for my next fix of laughter, it's so addictive. That's why I went up tonight at 12:50 in the morning in front of 8 drunk people on a stage in a room in the back of a club...and fuck it, I'll do it again tomorrow.

7/17/05
Tonight made 7! I did my 7th spot at the Hollywood Improv tonight this week. I tell ya, I love that place. I went to see Charlie & The Chocolate Factory with a friend tonight. Loved the movie, it was really good. But it wasn't really as dark as I thought it would be, especially with Tim Burton directing. But he did a great job and Johnny Depp was excellent as usual. It was a kids movie at heart, but Depp had a bit of lunacy in the role that made the movie a bit deeper, you know? Anyway, so after the movie we wanted to get something to eat, and we were right around the corner from the Improv, so I said, "Wanna eat there?" She said sure and we went. I felt so silly, I've been working there every night (except Thurs. when I was in Brea at the Improv) and the one night I had off...I still went. But it turned out to be perfect since the manager asked me to go up because the audience was dead. That's a nice feeling. But to be honest, Bert Kriescher was on stage and he was killing, so I didn't really see a reason to go up, but they said that he's the first one to get a reaction out of them. Then the manager said that she just wanted one more person to go up there and wake them up. The set was fun, but I am so sick of that material. If I go up again next week for the Teen Tours, I'm going to do a few different bits. I still should do the Jewish stuff since most of them are Jewish, but I'll do different bits after that. I'm thinking of bringing back the "Shark Bit" for a little while, we'll see. It's creepy being alone in my apartment now, my roommate left for a few days. Well...not creepy really, just quiet. I don't know. I mean I come home every night and he's sleeping already, so I'm used to quiet, but knowing that no one else is here on top of being quiet...that's creepy. Or maybe I'm just a great, big pussy. Hey, if any lovely ladies want to come over and keep me company, the door is open. :D Wow, now watch, I get a knock on the door and it's some crazy lady screaming, "You said the door was open! Open up! I want to cuddle!!!" Oy. Well the cat's are meowing so I've got to shut them up. Night.

7/16/05
I really apologize for slacking the blog lately, I have no excuse other than I'm lazy...and nothing too interesting has been happening to me lately. I know what you're thinking, "Well hell Flip, that never stopped you before from babbling about nothing for a paragraph or two." You're absolutely right, damn you. This week has been pretty exciting actually, I've gone on stage EVERY night since Tuesday. The Improv has been amazing to me. I ended up co-headlining withe Gene Pompa this past Thursday at the Improv in Brea, and it was great. They actually had my name on the marquee! How fucking cool is that!? I took a picture, I'll post it soon...like you care. I don't know, maybe you do. The other shows this week have been at the Hollywood Improv and mostly for the "Teen Tours", which is basically high schoolers. It's fun. What's amazing is that Kyle Cease is always headlining these shows and the crowds go fucking nuts for him. It's like Chris Rock got on stage. Kyle has been in 2 very popular teen movies, so the kids know him and love him...and to top it off, he's funny. So when he does a show, he sells his CDs, and I do too. Last night he sold 32, I sold 6. Oh well. It was still fun. Hey, that's extra money for me, so I'm not complaining. Or was I? Well, if it seemed like I was complaining, I wasn't. I'm feeling quite shitty right now, fucking allergies. I don't even know what I'm allergic too, that's what sucks. I think it's my cats, but then I go days without a single sniffle. I know I should go to a doctor to find out, but I'm poor and I don't think my insurance covers it. Guess I'll have to learn to live with it...until I get my sitcom. PREPARE FOR QUICK SUBJECT CHANGE! I'm all excited now because I should have Lil' Skippy by this week, thanks again to Puppet Lady! And your DVD will be on it's way too! Well, there ya go, I've babbled on about nothing in particular, hope you're satisfied. I'm off ot sleep and dream...oh, apologies to Jennifer for not doing the "Dream Hollywood" bit in Brea, it's still not in my regular rotation because I'm still working on it. But next time you are coming to a show, email me and remind me and I'll make it a point to do the bit. Night all.

7/11/05
Well I'm all packed up and ready to fly. I got a late flight today and it's direct, thank God, so, unlike most of my trips, it won't be an uncomfortable journey into the depths of airline purgatory. This week turned out to be great, the three shows I headlined at the Improv down here were great. Thanks to everyone who came out, especially those who brought the Jewpon...I had a little tear in my eye. It seems that the one thing everyone mentions about my act is that they love how I improv with the crowd. They say that's what makes my shows really different and enjoyable. I really do appreciate those kind of comments, the crowd work is something that I love to do, it's fun for me. And when others are having fun with it, that just makes it even more enjoyable for everyone. I went to my friends wedding the other day, it was great, congrats again to Grant and Melissa. Don't worry, I'm going to skip the inevitable "All my friends are married and I'm still single" rant/lament. So now it's back to LA to deal with real life shit again. Everytime I'm on the road, it's like a vacation for me from my real life, but to most people, my real life is a vacation and my vacation is paradise. Unless you don't like to speak in front of people, so in that case, my vacation would be hell...like most of my air travel. See what I did there!? I called back the first thing I said! I made a fucking callback in my blog! Damn I'm funny!!!! This trip has been very good for me, I made a few steps in some personal areas too. I reconciled with an estranged friend, not that we're anywhere near to where we were before our fight, but there is a mending process in motion now. Some people reading this who know the whole story might be shaking their heads saying, "Dude, what the fuck are you doing? You don't need that friend in your life." And I understand what you're saying, and maybe I'm just too nice of a person or too naive at times, but when a friendship of over 10 years ends very ebrutly and violently, I want to at least try to salvage it before letting it go completely. I think everyone has those fights, whether it be among friends, lovers, family, whatever, there have been huge fights where parties didn't talk for a little while. Then, if the relationship was strong enough, things were talked out and peace was made. Sometimes people need space...and that's one to grow on.

7/8/05
I am making this one short, it's late and I need to get up early for a wedding...not mine, just in case you might've thought I had gotten that drunk. Well, I have been that drunk, but luckily there was never a "Brittany" vibe going on. That would be a throw back to when little Ms. Spears (or Mrs. whatever her name is now) got married on a whim in Vegas. This is actually the wedding of (literally) my oldest friend. That would be in "time that I've known him" not "age". Grant, (seen here when we were wee lads), has been my friend for about 26 years. I can't believe it's been that long and now he's getting married. Jesus, what is it with everyone getting married. Last night at my show (which was great, thanks to everyone who came out) there was this guy who was married for 44 years and he was like, "Don't do it kid. You're better off." And there are times where I thank God I'm not married. I think, "This is great. I don't have to report in to anyone...I can flirt with anyone and if it leads somewhere I can just go with it and have no reason to feel guilty...etc." But then there are the other times when I think it would be nice to have someone. I know, I've bitched about this before and I keep running around in circles. I think what it comes down to is that I will be married one day, but until then, I'm just going to have fun until I find her. Well, the bed is calling my name...wait a minute bed...who the hell is Frank!? You whore! You whore bed! I...I...oh bed, I can't stay mad at you. Oh yes bed, I want to be inside you too...

7/7/05
Thank ya Jesus...or whoever it is that Jews thank. Uh...Thank ya Woody Allen! I've figured out how to update all this blog shit from my parents computer. The other day my laptop just up and said, "You know what? I'm tired, so I'm not going to work. Oh, you can fix me, but you're going to need the original set up disk that's in Los Angeles." So it's getting a week off while I'm getting frustrated. I never realized how much I was addicted to that thing. And how much information I need that's still on it. Speaking of which, normally what I'd do is send out a mass email to all the locals letting them know I'm performing, well since I no longer have access to that info, I've got to do it here. So, to all those in the SOUTH FLORIDA AREA, I just found out that I'm headling at the Ft. Lauderdale tonight, Thursday, Saturday at the 11:15 PM show and Sunday. As always, you can print out the Jewpon and get in a 2 for 1 admission on my shows. This week has turned out to be a great week. I wasn't even supposed to be working, so God..er, Woody bless the clubs down here. I'm trying to do this positive projecting thing, I know you should always project positivity, but this is based on the film What The Bleep Do We Know?. It was a very interesting film filled with philosophy and science explaining the world and reality. I know it sounds a wee bit looney, but it's interesting. If you have an open mind, you should check it out, if you're really stuck in your ways or are very religious, then I recommend not seeing this film. It will only piss you off and most likely you'll stop liking me, and I don't want that. The thing is this film pretty much said a lot of what I personally believe anyway, be it religion, science, philosophy, but it did it in an entertaining and insightful way. I have a friend who now swears by this "way of life" and is living his whole life by it, I'm not there, but I don't fault him for it. To each his own, right? I'm very excited, little Skippy should be here this weekend, thanks again beyond all thanks to Puppet Lady for her work on the Skippy Greene puppet! Pictures will be coming as soon as I can get'em. Well, I know that I haven't blogged for a long time, and I should fill up an entire page with ramblings, musings, stories of the adventures I've had in my blog downtime...but alas, there really weren't that many. And even less to blog about. So I'm going to call it quits here and hopefully something amazing will happen to me today that will make tomorrow's entry (if I remember) something to talk about...holy shit, did I just quote Bonnie Rait? Damn, I must be tired....