I'm getting packed up now and then I'm going to my friend/old aupair's house for dinner. Should be fun and I'm going to be back in time to get some sleep. Again, I'm waking up early. I might take a sleeping pill tonight just to be sure I sleep.

Today I slept for a fair amount of time, but woke up around 7:00, went downstairs for breakfast and then came back to my room, and feel back to sleep until 1:00. I'm all screwed up now. So hopefully I will be all good for the rest of the tour starting tomorrow.

Maybe it's not just the jet lag; maybe I'm just getting older. Who knows.

OK, subject change. So being a member of SAG (Screen Actors Guild) has a few perks, one of them is that I get, what are known as "Screeners". Basically they are DVD copies of movies out in the theaters now so I can watch them and vote for them for the SAG Awards. Well, I digitized a few and put them on my ipad so I can watch them while I travel...and yes, I'm too late to vote considering the awards were already held.

Besides the point...

So last night I watched one of the best movies I have seen in a long, long time...The Artist. Wow...wow...FUCKING WOW!!! It is beyond words. Just a pure, beautiful, original movie. I challenge you to watch the first 10 minutes and not have a smile that goes ear to ear. And, in case you don't know, this is a silent movie in black and white - A pure throw back to the beginning of film - (Hell, it's even shot in the same format they used to shoot those films) so you need to go in with an open mind. But for me, after five minutes, the fact that it was silent wasn't even noticable. The music is fantastic, the direction, the look, costumes, acting; everything, just amazing. And the lead actor, Jean Dujardin is so charasmatic and charming, he has to be seen to be believed. Just an amazing experience. If you are a fan of film, and don't mind the fact that there aren't any explosions or 3D, I urge you to see this movie.

Well, I'm going to finish packing and getting myself ready for dinner.

Oh, a new episode of What's For Dinner is up. This week I talk to Marten Andersson; he is a big Swedish comic and founder of the RAW Comedy Clubs. It was a very comedy heavy episode, but pretty interesting for me to hear about the Swedish comedy scene.

And here are a couple of silly videos I recently uploaded. Bye!

1/29/12
I am so fucking confused right now. Not confused in a "hey, how did that magician make that woman disappear" kind of way, more of a "how the fuck did I sleep this late" kind of way.

I woke up at 2:45 pm today! Only because housekeeping called my room to see if I wanted any service. If they hadn't called, God knows how late I would've slept. And the thing is, I feel asleep at a reasonably descent hour...well for me anyway.

I was out until 2:30 or so having some drinks with some comics and people from the show. (BTW, what great shows in Stockholm; thank you sooo much to the crowds here!) I come up to my room and after talking to Allison for a minute I went to bed around 3:15. I woke up a few times to go to the bathroom and when I checked the clock, it was 5:45 am. Normally, I'd sleep until 11:00 or so. Not today....2:45!!!

I did have some intense dreams though. One of the clearest was of my grandfather. I was the age I am today and I was on some kind of nature retreat. It was cold and I was riding my bike through these paths in the forest, with Allison and some other people. At one point we had to walk our bikes up this steep hill and then, somehow, it wasn't cold anymore; no more snow. But there was a bus, so we all got on the bus, and sitting right in front of me is my grandfather. Keep in mind he died over 25 years ago; but he looked exactly the how I remember him. I was so excited, not because I thought "Hey, you've been dead for so long, I can't believe you're here!", but just because he is my grandfather. And he was just horseplaying with me, like he used to when I was a kid. He actually did this thing (that I think a lot of grandfathers did) where he'd tickle me by digging his knuckle in my side. My buddy Bret Ernst does a joke about this. And I remember just playing around with him, until he did that tickle/knuckle thing one more time and I woke up.

It sounds weird, but I swear I felt like he visited me in my dreams. For real. It was really comforting. I mean I never dreamed about him. At least not since he died. I wasn't thinking about him for any reason, so why would I dream about him?

Anyway, it took me a little bit to fall back to sleep, but I didn't check the clock, so who knows what time it was.

Then I started to dream that I was back working at an old job I had when I was in high school. But I wasn't a kid, I was me now. So I'm thinking, "Hell, I don't need this job, so I can do whatever I want. Who cares if they fire me." It was kind of fun. I remember this guy walked by and I called him an asshole, and right as I did my boss came around the corner and said, "Don't say that to a customer" and I said, "Well he is an asshole." Another time I took a phone call about doing a comedy gig and afterwards my boss said, "You don't take phone calls while you're working, you take them on your break." And I just said "Yes sir". I think because it was more fun to pretend like I cared, so I can fuck around again later. And there were more similar things that happened, but then housekeeping called and you know the rest.

I guess my body is still adapting to this time zone. I dunno. I just hope I can fall asleep at a good hour tonight. Whatever, all I know is that I'm hungry now. I was supposed to be taping an episode of my podcast now with a Swedish comic, but he hasn't shown up, so I'm going to get food. Hopefully he'll be by soon so I can record it. I want to upload it within the next day or two.

I'm off to eat. Talk to you later.

1/26/12
I am sooooo fucking tired now. I'm on my flight to Sweden, it's 9:30 am...though it's really 12:30 am for me. If I was back in LA now, I'd just be getting into bed. Now, I'm supposed to be waking up. But I never slept, so basically I'm ex-fucking-hausted.

I got up at 9:00 am on today (which is still the 25 for me, though technically it's the 26), spent some time with Allison, got my CDs delivered in the nick of time - which is another story - and then headed to LAX.

Then I boarded the plane, watched a movie, had some dinner and tried to sleep. I even had a glass of wine, which I don't usually do. I just thought it would help me sleep. Nope.

This is exactly what happened the last time I was here. I couldn't fall asleep until 4-5 in the morning; sometimes later. I'm trying to be positive now and just thinking that because I'm so exhausted, tonight I'll just crash out at, like, 8:00 and be all good tomorrow...or at least on my way to being on schedule.

And to continue on this positive kick, YAY, I'M GOING BACK TO SWEDEN! And, for the first time since '07, I'm going to Norway! People have been asking when I'd be back there, well, 2012 is the year. Much love to my buddy Berang for putting this all together.

I know there are a lot Swedes & Norwegians who read this, so I hope to see you at the shows.

Luckily there isn't one tonight, so I can sleep. God, I can't imagine doing a show when I'm this exhausted. Of course I'd try to take a nap during the day, but, knowing me, I'd be too excited/nervous about not only having to do a show, but knowing that I couldn't sleep for as long as I'd want to. Plus knowing that by screwing up my sleeping schedule now, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

Fuck, I worry a lot.

Oh, and a special "hello" to anyone who might've found me through any of the podcast's I've done in the last week...including mine. And I do apologize (mark it) for the 2nd podcast I did; the audio quality is pretty shitty. My bad, I promise it'll be better for the next one...I hope. I say that because I'll be doing the next 3-4 while in Sweden and I'm going to be using my ipad for the recording. I've tested it and it sounds fine, but you never know what fuck ups might happen - There I go again! Worrying! Fuck Flip, just relax.

I'm blaming all this worry/paranoia on the lack of sleep.

We're going to be landing in about an hour and a half in Frankfurt. I'm only there for a layover, but it's still the first time I've been to Germany. Yeah, never was on the top of my list of places to go. (Jew joke)

OK, I'm going to have some food and coffee and force energy through this day. Later.

1/20/12
Greetings all. Well, it is 9:35 in the morning and I'm wide awake sitting in a posh North Hollywood coffee shop, having coffee and a muffin. Soooo LA.

Why am I up this early? (yes, 9:30 is early for me), well I had jury duty today. Joy.

Actually, I don't mind serving on jury duty. Honestly. Yes, it's inconvenient because it's so early in the morning (need to be there at 7:30 am) and it does take up anywhere from one to seven days, but it is the law and it is one of things that make our country great. Let's be honest, nowadays, there are very few things that happen within our government that is truly democratic. At least as a juror, I KNOW how the decision was made and that the verdict is true to our decision.

So why am I done with my jury duty so soon? Did I get out of it? Did the judge say, "You know what, it's Friday, fuck it. Go home." No. I got it postponed.

Normally, again, I'd just sit in the jury room and hope that they didn't need me. But the truth is, I am leaving next week for Sweden, so if I got called in for a long trial (which is a real possibility), I couldn't serve anyway. So rather than take the chance, and then if I got called having to explain that I can't...and possibly having the judge say, "Well that's too bad, but you need to be here" and then having to pretend I'm crazy to get out of it altogether so I can still go to Sweden...but when trying to board the plane, there's a big alarm because the court put me down as 'insane' in the 'system', so then they won't let me board the plane because I might be a danger. I'll have to then explain that I am indeed sane, but just pretended to get out of jury duty. Then, with my luck, the judge from my case just happens to be standing behind me and overheard what I said, so he gets me arrested then and there and not only do I miss my flight, I miss all the shows in Sweden and Norway and I lose money, but now I'm sharing a cell with a big Canadian hockey player/rapist named Bryan (they're all named Bryan with a "Y" in Canada) and he pucks me to death.

No thank you.

So that brings me to where I am now. I didn't want to go home right away; I know Allison is still sleeping so I don't want to disturb her. And I don't get a lot of opportunity to be up this early, so I'd rather be out of the house.

So what else?

Well me and my buddy David Nickerson have started a podcast...I'm just figuring out how to upload it. It was fun, but what sucks is that David is moving in a couple of weeks, so I think I'm just going to keep it going. It's called WHAT'S FOR DINNER? and it's basically us just riffing on subjects that we want to talk about; but I don't know his topics and vice versa. So when I have guest on, I'll just ask them to come in with 5 topics/subjects and take it from there. I need to buy a better second microphone as well. Sounds a bit shitty, but it's a learning process. I'm just happy that I'm finally doing it.

And I think I've mentioned this before, but I can record onto my Ipad (which I'm using now...and it auto-corrected "Ipad" to make it capital, btw) so I can do podcasts easily on the road. Like I said, I just want to figure out how to upload them before I leave. ..

Hey, I figured it out! Check it out & subscribe:

What's For Dinner Podcast.

I'm off. See ya!

1/3/12
I am beyond pissed right now!

Wait, first of all, happy new year. Mine, obviously, is not starting out on the happiest of notes. Let me give you a summary of what the past few days have been.

It started on Dec. 22 when I heard that a comic friend had passed away; "Fat" James Price. He was a sweetheart of a guy and really funny. He got sick and passed away in a very short amount of time.

I feel so bad that I never visited him before he had to go to the hospital. It was one of those "Well, I didn't know him that well and I'm sure they'll be time when he gets better". That never happened. What would it have hurt to just go to his house for an hour and say "hi" and just hang out? It wouldn't have.

Well cut to a few nights ago, Dec. 30, I go to a memorial for James and spend a few hours there with a bunch of comics. Just having a few drinks, remembering and celebrating his life. At around 12:30 or so I decide to leave (not drunk, I had waited until I was sober) and I started driving home. I'm maybe 2-3 blocks away and I suddenly get pulled over. Fuck.

So now I'm wondering what I did. Did I run a light? Did I not use a blinker? As I pulled over I realized what it was...I forgot to turn my lights off. I swear, I've never done that before. I mean we all have done it for a few seconds before realizing it (myself included), but I have never driven more than a block or so. So when the cop came to the window, he told me why he pulled me over and I said "I just realized that". I told him where I was just coming from and that I was distracted, but yes, it was a stupid thing.

He gives me what he called a "fix it ticket" which means that all I have to do is go to a CHP office, show them that my lights work and there will be no fee, nothing on my record; nothing. I thanked him and he wished me condolences on friend.

Well since I want to start this new years off right I wanted to take care of this asap. So today, Allison takes a ride and we go to CHP office, the guys sees that my lights work, signs off on the ticket and I'm thinking, "OK, that's it. Thanks." Then he says, "You need to go the courthouse and pay a fine." What the fuck!? The fucking cop told me that there was nothing to pay! "Nope", says the CHP, "there's a fine."

OK, OK. I'm annoyed that the cop lied to me, but let me just go and pay the fine.

So I go to the courthouse, wait in line, get a very lovely teller (not sarcastic; she was sweet) who tells me the fine is $25. OK, fine. As much as I'm annoyed, to pay $25 and be done is fine. So she takes my ID and ticket and says that since the ticket is so new, it's not in they system, so she'll do it for me. She comes back a few minutes later and says "this is not a correctable ticket". Wait, what? "It's not correctable, it will be more than $25." How much? She asked someone else who works there, "$212".

WHAT!!!! The cop told me there wasn't even a fine to be paid in the first place!!! (I'm quoting her directly) "Yeah, they say that"

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Oh, they "say that"!? Well how great for them! Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a $212 ticket!? When I was TOLD it was nothing. And I looked on the ticket and you know what, it says? "Correctable ticket"! But it isn't. So I told her, "No way am I paying that." And she said, "I don't blame you, it's ridiculous". So now I have to go to court...but the date to appear to contest is mid Feb...right in the middle of my next Sweden tour.

She told me I can do it over the internet.

So I am beyond annoyed, pissed, just a volatle bottle of anger.

Allison, who had been sitting down while I was in line (didn't want her to strain her back), saw that I was mad when I was walking away. I tell her the story and say, "Well, I'm going to court", and she was trying to say that it isn't worth it. And I'm like, "Hell yeah it is. I'm going to fight this, it's not fair. If I had done something wrong (ie: I was drunk, I was speeding, etc.), yeah I'd be pissed, but I'd pay it. But this fucking cop LIED TO ME! And the ticket itself IS WRONG!!! So I'm not going to just roll over and take this shit, I'm fighting this."

And then, while we were starting to drive away, she said something that totally sent me off. Now, I won't get into any more specifics about that conversation, because...well, it's none of your business, but afterwards it was a silent drive home.

I feel bad that we fought, but I don't feel bad for feeling that I was in the right for being angry. I mean isn't being in a relationship sometimes about keeping your opinions quiet when your partner is upset? When you know you will only piss them off more? I mean there have been times when I wanted to say something (and not just with Allison, but with other girl friends or friends or family) but realized that it's just easier to say "OK" or "You're right" or not say anything at all because it would avoid a stupid fight. Or, more importantly, because I knew it would upset them even more.

I know that Allison is probably reading this now, and she knows that I love her and I know she loves me, but baby (that's to Allison, not anybody else whom I call "baby"...talking to you Fred), you really pissed me off today. And I'm sorry for posting this on my blog, but I needed to vent.

And I do feel better now.

Huh, I guess this turned out to be more of a "relationship" vent than a "fuck the police" vent. I'm really looking forward to taking this to court, to prove my case and make my point. I just hope that it's fair.

OK, going to relax now, got a show as Skippy in a few hours. Time to take this anger and channel it into "lick my ball" jokes.