You know what I've noticed as I'm getting older, it goes by so fucking fast it's dizzying. Everything is going by so fast, I can't believe it. I've talked about this in previous blogs, but it still gets me.

Yesterday I was reading an old journal of mine from a few years back and it's amazing just how much I've changed. That journal, like most of my earlier blogs, was about failed relationships & heartbreaks.

Wow, weird. You know, now that I think about it, that is the thing that has drastically changed in my life; Allison. Since I've had her in my life, I have not had any of that pain anymore. Which I am BEYOND grateful for, but it's also put me in a completely new phase of my life. It's like life without heart ache is so weird for me. It had been a constant in my life for over 30 years, and now it's all gone.

And I think once that happened; when I truly understood and accepted that I'd never have to go through that anymore, I changed. I really did.

I'm more confident in myself, in my act, in life. I still have bouts with self doubt like everyone else, but I always come back to a nice, centered place thanks to Allison. She balances me. And I'd like to think I do the same for her.

All of these life lessons are really becoming clearer now. I honestly think the next one will be children...can't even begin to wrap my head around that one. Seems to me that it will be the most amazing and scariest thing that I've ever had to do. I know my brother, who is a father, is a different guy because of it.

Another thing that I've noticed about myself lately is that I'm getting lazier. I hate saying that, but I am. I need to force myself to do more with my day...I say this as I type away on my computer in my apartment. Ha.

I've got - GOT - to start pushing myself, you know? I need to feel hungry again for fitness and comedy.

Maybe that'll be my new thing, Comedy Aerobics. "Kick-two-three-four, and a guy walks into a bar-two-three-four, he says ouch-two-three-four..." Ya think it'll work? Who knows?