I got only about 3 hours of sleep, so I'm riding on fumes right now; hopefully I'll get some sleep on this first flight...then while I wait 5 hours for my next flight, I'll try and get some shut eye then as well.

I gotta tell you, that B & B was really nice. As creepy as it was at night, this morning was very nice. The guy who runs it, Jack, had breakfast all ready for me. It was really nice. If you guys are ever in the Saranac area of NY, go to Fogarty's. Just be ready for him to greet you at midnight when you come in. :)

I'm still a bit hungry, so I might grab a bite. I'll try and continue this later.

2/19/11
I am soooooo fucking ready to go home. Keep in mind, I'm not in any way, shape or form complaining about the work; I just miss home and am tired of driving and snow.

Today I drove for 3 1/2 hours to Sanarac, NY where I'm currently lying on my bed in a bed & breakfast waiting impatiently for my show tonight. Oh, it's 9 degrees out. Fuck yeah!

I gotta tell you, this B & B I'm staying in is really quaint and the Fogarty's (the sweet old couple who run it) are very nice...but this is also kind of creepy. I've never really stayed in a real bed & breakfast. I've stayed in places that call themselves that, but never a real one. This is kinda like the place Bill Murray stayed in Groundhog Day. But because I'm the ONLY person here with the couple, it's got a touch of Misery thrown in.

Maybe I'm just being dickish because I'm ready to go home.

You know, I think about the really long road trips (I'm talking Sweden 2009 when I was away for 6 weeks) and compared to those, this isn't bad at all. I guess what I'm tired of are the airplanes and traveling itself. Again, this is one of those "I've slept in 8 different beds in the past 10 days" kinda trips.

But again, keep it all in perspective.

Luckily the shows have all been fantastic. Thanks so much to all the folks from Jefferson Community College, TC3 & Mohawk Valley Community College; you guys made what could've been rough shows (all of them have been in either cafeteria's or student lounges) all really fun. Plus I've been able to write and work on some new bits. :)

Tonight is Paul Smith's College...which is in a cafeteria type place according to the itinerary...unless "The Bobcat Cafe" is code for their auditorium. Doubt it; but if this show is like the others, it's going to be a blast.

God it's only 4:00, six hours and counting. I want to go out and get a bite, but because it's so fucking cold I might just get frost bite! Ha! No? Not funny? OK, you're right.

Also, this house is on a hill, so there are a bunch of steps you have to walk up which actually got me winded and out of breath. Some might say it's because it's so far up north and the air is thin, I say it's because I'm lazy and out of shape.

Then again I'm watching Heavy right now; puts things in perspective. Not that I'm in perfect shape, but I'm not out of control.

Well I'm gonna go eat pop tarts now. Bye

LATER THAT NIGHT...

I'm back in my creepy B & B. I say creepy because it's an old house on a hill...and it's a house. A house. Someone else's house! And when I walked in, I swear I had this creepy feeling; like in Psycho when "mother" comes into the bathroom and...Spoiler...kills the chick. I just saw teh old man coming and killing me as I walked in. And right when I walked in...he came out of a room saying, "How was the show"...AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!

He's a very nice guy, but damn, I was freaked...still am a bit. OK, there are no psycho's here; no ghosts. OK, breath.

Anywho...The show tonight was fucking amazing; thanks so much to Paul Smith's College for helping me end the tour on a high note. What was great about this show (and different from the others) was that I didn't have to watch my language or subject matter.

With the other schools I was asked not to say "fuck" and not to get too graphic with the sex talk. Which is fine. I did it and they were all great shows. Tonight I was told to do whatever I wanted. And those that have seen my show know that I'm not a filthy comic, but I do say "fuck" kind of often. Not in a vulgar way, but more in a conversational way.

I've said this before on the blog; I like to do my show like I'm having a regular conversation, and when I'm with friends I say fuck. Period. So when I'm not able to use that word, it doesn't make the show less funny, it just adds a little control on my part, whereas normally, I like to just talk very stream of conscious and say whatever the fuck comes into my mind.

...anywho.

Tonight I was able to do that, and in the process I came up with a great new bit. I'm really excited.

Lately I've written so many new bits; it's exhilerating. And Allison has also been writing a lot too. As a matter of fact, my baby recently had her first headlining gig...check this out:

Soooo proud of her. We'll both be at The Comedy Store this Monday if anyone's around the LA area. 8:00 show, c'mon by.

Alright, I've gotta try and get some sleep now. I've got less than 7 hours to sleep, then I have to drive 2 hours or so to Burlington, fly to NY...WAIT 5 HOURS!!!!...and then fly to LA. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night. Sigh...

Night all, and thanks again to all the great schools that had me on this tour. Later.

2/15/11
God I fucking hate airports and airplanes and turbulence and rental cars and waking up early and exhaustion and...and I'm done bitching.

I'm in NY on a layover waiting for my connection to Syracuse. Then I have to get my rental car and drive an hour to my hotel where I'll be able to relax for a night, then I have to get up early to do my noon show tomorrow and then drive another hour or two to the next hotel where I'll have no time to get ready and do my next show at 6:30.

Then I sleep and leave the next day to the next town where I have no show that night; just sit in my hotel room with my thumb up my ass watching porn. (Is he serious about the thumb?...)

Then I have another show the next day, then I leave to another town for another show the next night, then I drive 3 more hours to the airport and fly home where I'll land at 10:00 PM.

Joy.

I know, I know. A year ago at this time I was bitching about not having any work. This is exactly what I wanted.

It's funny; this whole situation reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode where this old shop keeper finds a lamp with a genie in it. So he wishes for things he wanted but they come with a hitch. Here is one of the hitches: Twilight Zone episode

So now it's like, "Oh, you want to work, huh? OK, you're booked pretty solid now...but now you've got to exhaust yourself with traveling and you have to be away from your love."

Thank God I have such an understanding; truly amazing woman. Love you baby.

OK, I'm a bit nausious from the flight, so I'm going to relax a bit.

OK, writing this later today. I'm now lying in my bed in Watertown, NY. I have a 12:20 show tomorrow (God, I hate those...), so I'm going to sleep soon, just wanted to show a few pics from TCCAF:

2/13/11
Once again I blog to you from the sky. I am flying back to LA after an amazing weekend at the Traverse City Comedy Arts Festival; it was really so much fun.

First and foremost, the people of Traverse City are some of the warmest, nicest people I've ever met. They say, "Well, it's Michigan, we're all nice here." I believe it. I also have to thank Jeff Garlin and Michael Moore for putting this together and bringing in so many amazing comics.

It's so much fun when you get to hang out with some friends and meet new ones.

Speaking of which...

Caroline Rhea is such a sweetheart. Had a blast performing with her and even got some great new bits from the shows.

I really did get some new jokes; I'm so thrilled with that. Two new ones I tried on the show with Caroline. One was based on that little rant I had in my last blog about the word fiancé. I didn't go into the details like I did in the blog, but the jist of it worked. Caroline even gave me a tag for the bit.

The other joke is one based on the idea that if Jesus was Jewish, that means Mary was a Jewish mother. And so I figured she bragged about her kid like most Jewish mothers do. You can imagine how funny that joke can be...and how far I can push the audience. It's a safe/edgy kind of joke.

On one hand I'm just doing an impression of a standard Jewish mother, on the other I'm talking about Jesus...which can sometimes make a crowd uneasy. But I think I walk that line pretty well.

But here was the coolest thing. Last night a bunch of the comics (including Caroline, Jeff, Jeffery Ross & Michael Moore) did what Jeff calls a "combo platter". Basically we each take turns telling stories based on a subject. Last night the subject turned out to be massages.

I honestly didn't know I was going to go up, but Jeff turned to me and said, "you're next". I didn't have any stories or jokes about massages. Hell, I've never gotten one. But then I remembered something. Something that I never talked about on stage...ever.

Basically a story about how my mom used to make me massage her as a little boy. I don't want to tell the rest because the story that I told killed! It was just a story that I happened to remember and it fucking killed!

It started making me think about other stories from my life that could be made into bits.

Which brings me to the next part of the night.

After we each went up alone, Jeff called us all on stage (except for Caroline who had to leave) and he started talking, but as he did, if one of us thought of a story based on anything he said, we go up and tell that story. Then someone else tells a story based on something that the person who is now talking had just said.

You following me alright? Good.

So Ted Alexandro is telling a story (he's fucking hilarious BTW) and he mentioned that his parents are teachers. Well, that sparked an idea in my head because both of my folks are teachers and I have a joke about that. But then I thought, "No. I don't want to just do a bit, I want to do something dangerous. Talk about something personal that isn't a joke. It could be funny, but not a structured, prepared joke."

Then I thought of one. A very personal, embarrassing story that (again) I never talked about on stage...hell, I don't think I ever mentioned it to anyone. Period.

All I'll say here is that it had to do with my Hebrew school teacher...and it killed! I felt amazing.

Suddenly this well of material opened up before my eyes. A well that was there the whole time, I just never bothered to look.

So I'm coming off of this fest invigorated and thrilled. Thank you so much TC!

So anywho, I got just under an hour before we land. Here's what sucks though.

I have tomorrow in town with Allison (Valentines Day and all), and then on Tuesday I hop right back on a plane and fly back to the east coast for a 4 city college run.

As always, I'm grateful for the work, but fuck me, I'm sooooo tired of traveling. Luckily this will be the last plane trip for a little while. I prefer to drive; that's why Vegas is fun.

Well, that and the hookers. Kidding honey. :)

Alright kids, I'm gonna watch a movie on my computer and relax.

Happy pre V-day everyone. If you've got a special someone, get them something nice (that goes for women too), and if you are single, don't sweat it. Go to a titty bar/dicky bar and bask in it. It's not pathetic; I've done it many-a time. Just beware of getting VD on V-Day. Ba-da-bing!

2/10/11
Greetings from the skies over Michigan. I'm writing this as I fly to Traverse City for the comedy festival. I'm still kinda tired; been a rough few days for sleep, but oh well.

A comic friend, Kyle Kinnane, is sitting next to me. He's doing the fest as well.

I'm curious as to how this fest will go, and (more importantly), how it might help my career. It would be nice if someone there had some pull with so-and-so (we all know how huge So-And-So are), so they put in a word, and BOOM!...I'm on a sitcom.

Hey, it could happen.

I'm just putting the vibes out there. It seems as late vibes are working. I mean they always work, it's just sometimes they don't work as well as others.

Staying positive; that's the key. I've always said this, but I truly believe it in my soul.

And besides, I'm very happy now. I've got a great job (knock on wood...that would be internet wood, or Interwood), I've got an amazing fiancé.

I started thinking about that word, fiancé. I've heard it a million times in movies, or from other people, and I've said it a million times for those situations, but I've never had to use it (seriously) about myself until now. It's such a weird transition.

Like calling someone my girlfriend is easy. I've had girlfriends before and even if actually having a girlfriend was strange at first, saying it wasn't. I'm used to saying it, it's common; it's easy. And I think even calling Allison my wife will be easy. It's a single syllable word. It's nice. And it's a definite kinda word. Wife. "Hello, this is my wife". Sounds just as simple and easy as, "Hello, this is my girlfriend."

But fiancé. That's just strange.

First of all it's French. And to use a French word while only speaking English is weird. The only other French word that I commonly use is croissant...and I'm usually saying "cross-sandwich". Secondly, it's got three syllables. So much time to say a word that doesn't exactly roll off of the tongue.

But here's the weirdest thing to me. When you first start in a relationship, there's a boyfriend and a girlfriend. We each have our own titles. And when you get married, again, we each have a title. The man is a husband, the woman is a wife. But when you're engaged, you're both the fiancé. That's strange. Why? Why can't we each have a title?

Look, if it's about "us as a team", well, we're not a team yet. If anything, the single title thing should be in place when we're married.

I think that we should each have a title while engaged. Girls, you keep fiancé. It sounds more femine. If you still want something French, at least give the\ man a tougher French title. Like "grenade", or "Cousteau", or something else. I dunno. I'm still half asleep.

OK, starting to land so I have to power down. Later.

2/9/11
Hey guys, just a quick blog to say hi before I go to sleep. It's only 6:15 PM btw. Why, you ask am I going to sleep so early? Well, I am flying out at 5:45 in the morning!

Fuck yeah it's early. I know! But here's why...

I was personally invited by Jeff Garlin to perform at the Traverse City Comedy Arts Festival! I'm really excited about it!

I'll tell ya more and post a bunch of pics soon!

And remember, every Friday at 9:00 PM, Skippy Greene is on Latino 101 on the SiTV network! I'll be posting some more video from that asap!

Later.