2/24/06
I am having a great day! I just found out (officially) that I am going to be on a new Comedy Central show called "Live At Gotham"! I am shooting it at the Gotham Comedy Club in NY on March 26. If anyone is around, come on down. I am soooo fucking excited. And you know what, I owe it mostly to you guys! Seriously...lemme explain. You see, I got this (without showcasing for it, mind you) because some people from Comedy Central saw me at the South Beach Comedy Festival and, apparently, loved me. Now, I got into the festival because I showcased for it and was then put in an online competition. And I won the online competition because...drumroll...YOU guys voted for me! And then he was in a movie with Kevin Bacon. Oops, sorry, wrong game. Anyways, thanks, I really wouldn't have this if not for you and your support. This could lead to so many other things, I'm just so psyched. Anyway, I've been cleaning all day, so I really need to get out of my apartment. Oh, to anyone out there with cats. Is there a way to keep cats from tearing your toilet paper off the fucking roll? Aside from taking the TP off of the mounted roll? (I know someone reading this was about to suggest that) Like is there a spray or something I can put on it that also won't burn my ass? OK, I think I went a bit too far there. I'm acting like a real ass! Ha! OK, OK, I'm done. Later.

2/19/06
Wow, a whole week without a blog entry, you guys must be going crazy with anticipation, huh? It's like for me waiting a week to see a new episode of Lost...actually, my blogs don't have monsters, hatches and Egyptian symbols, so nevermind. My week at the Improv is just about over, one more show tonight. I think I am going to get some money from the club despite their new policy of not paying the hosts. Still think it's ridiculous. The shows have been great though, merchandise sales are a bit slumpy, but I think that's because Pablo, myself and the other comic, Mike Burton, are all selling stuff. It's a bit of an overload. Tonight may go well because Pablo is sold out of his stuff. What else to tell? I've been going through a bit of self-realization lately. Have you ever felt like you're acting/behaving like someone you're not? Like you're living a life that's not yours? Like you are looking out of a pair of eyes and you know you're not doing what you feel you should be doing?...but you do it anyway. I've been feeling that lately. It seems that I am becoming someone I really don't like, someone who is going against everything I've ever believed in and lived for. I don't know why. Now, before you all start jumping to conclusion, this is not about drugs. Trust me, the one thing I can promise is that I do not do drugs...well, not "bad" drugs. OK, OK, I'm a hypocrit...lemme clarify. I have smoked pot, I've done ectasy a few times (a long time ago) and I tried mushrooms once...did not like it. But nothing else. Never cocaine, crack, heroine, acid, nothing like that. So again, I clarify, my turmoil now has nothing to do with drugs. It's about my life and my mentality towards certain things. I can't say specifically what it is for various reasons, sorry. I know, you're all broken up about it. Fuck, I just see my mindset heading in a certain direction and I really want to stop it. I want to cut if off now. I think I can...no, I know I can. It's my mind, it's wired a certain way right now and I just need to retrain it; rewire it. I need to force myself to think a different way. Basically, I've been thinking a certain way for about 5 years or so, and acting on those thoughts when the opporitunity arose. And for the time, those thoughts were correct, well, they seemed correct to me. Anyway, now...now I think those thoughts aren't as correct as they were before, they're not right for this time in my life. But I can't stop thinking that way, and reacting that way, that's the problem. If you will, I'm addicted to a thought pattern, which in turn becomes a "doing" pattern. But if I can change my thought pattern, I can change my doing pattern. So that's what I need to do, change. Period. Now, how does one do that? Fuck if I know. I guess it's like any addiction, you need to quit. I wish there was a "Thought Pattern Anonymous", that would be nice. Anyway, I have to go and start packing for my return trek to LA tomorrow morning. 7 AM flight...what the fuck was I thinking??? Hope all is well with you guys.

2/12/06
Well, the Great Canadian Laugh Off is over and I did not win. Aww...don't start sending the condolensce emails just yet. I'm really not upset to be honest with you, I'm not. I really hate competitions, it puts all this undue pressure on you to "fight" and "pit yourself against others", when in reality, we should all just make everyone laugh. That sounds very corny, I know. But I was seriously stressing before the show, and I shouldn't be. I get nervous anyway, that last thing I need is stress on top of it. Anyway, I feel that the material I did was solid, proven stuff, and I'm happy with it. Someone asked me after the show if I could go back and change anything about my set, would I. And I said no. The audience was off. Now before you say, "hey, only a shitty comic will blame the audience", usually you'd be right. But this audience, I don't know, they seemed tired and just not with me. And Dale, who went right before me, didn't do as well as he usually does either. For a while, I felt a conspiracy...I'm not kidding. I thought, "Fuck, these guys don't want an American to come in and take their glory." Does this make me a conspiracy theorist or a just a paranoid Jew? Don't know. But the guy who won, he was funny and was who the judges felt was the best. Again, competitions are bullshit in that no one can really say what is funny. Funny is subjective, plain and simple. I know one of the judges and I asked him point blank for his opinion. He told me, point blank, that I am funny and a good comic, but I'm too much of a performer (ie-actor) on stage. I do characters and I stretch out bits for the sake of doing characters...he's right. My act is full of characters and of acting out punch lines, I've said about myself many times. It's my theatrical background and it's what I love to do. And then he said that it isn't that it's not funny, it's that I prefer comics who just talk and personable. His preference, and there's nothing wrong with it. He also said that he could tell I was too in my head at the beginning, which is true. I always tend to psyche myself out in these kinds of situations. What's interesting though, when I'm doing a longer set, I usually am more comfortable, more personable. I dunno, I could analyze my act forever and still not figure out how to get it right. I always tetter on being myself and being a charactature of myself. It just seems like in these shows I choke up and I'm not myself. I don't know. Fuck, you know, I was fine when I started writing this blog, now I'm feeling like I could've done better. No, no, I'm happy with my set. NOW, here's where it all comes together nicely, the booker/owner of the Yuk Yuk's chain said to give him a call and we'll set up some dates. So in the end, I won. I did have a great time though, if anything, I got to hang with some friends and work a great club. You know, this year has been very up and down...not as down as I have been before, but not a constant up. That's good really; that shows me that I'm not invincible, but I'm not finished. This might be hard to explain, but trust me, it feels good...it feels balanced. My god, this blog is all over the fucking map, isn't it? Well, I am going to get into bed, gotta fly back tomorrow. Night all.

2/11/06
So far so good here in Toronto. I am in the finals for the Great Canadian Laff Off, it's pretty cool. Actually, there are 3 Americans in the finals, and we're all from Florida. It's me, Dale Jones and Philadelphia, it's going to be a tough one. I'm just excited that I made it this far, don't get me wrong, the prize money would be great, but I know that the club owner liked me and I'll probably get some work out of this, so that's good. Another cool thing is that they put the winners (finalists) up at a really nice hotel, so I'm at the hotel now...granted, it's only for one day since the contest is over tonight, but it's still nice. So I was just running my set for tonight, and I think it's coming in a bit long, which is not good. I'm a bit nervous to be honest, I'm thinking of closing with "The Shark Bit", but I haven't done it in a while, so it's a bit rusty. I have other closers, but that bit is so strong if it's executed right. I could do the "God" joke, which is clever and funny, but doesn't always have the punch that the shark bit can deliver. I could also do the "Simon/American Idol" joke, which has a strong punch, but it's a bit cliche and tettering on hack. The judges tonight are real comedy experts: the booker for Letterman, the President of Comedy TV (Canada's Comedy Central), someone from the Just For Laughs Festival, etc. I just want them to see me do my cleverist (is that a word?) material. Plus I want to be clean for 2 reasons. One, it's good for television and Two, it sets up the Shark Bit perfectly. Fuck, I'm sure I'm over thinking this waaaaay too much...but that's me. I'm anal about so many things, comedy especially. I really hate competitions, it takes the fun out of this and makes it stressful. Especially when you're against friends...as I am tonight. Not too much else to report from the Great White North...oh, it's cold. I mean really cold. Actually, today isn't that bad, but Friday...FUCK!...it was snowing and freezing. But it is quite beautiful. Well, I'm going to go over my act a bit more and maybe watch a DVD. Wish me luck guys....

2/9/06
Well I'm all tucked in bed and drugged up with Nyquil and ready to sleep to get up early to fly to Toronto....wow, that's alot of "to's". First of all, I want to thank everyone who sent emails of condolences for my grandmother, I really appreciate it and so does my family. Things have gotten a bit easier, life goes on, right? So last night I was out with some friends and we went to hear one of their friends sing at an open mike night. It was interesting, I saw how the local musicians bonded together and knew each other just like comics do. Like when I go to an open mike night in LA (or anywhere really), the comics have a commraderie, an attitude like, "Fuck, we're all in this together, let's fight." And the musicians had that too, very refreshing. I ended up going up too, my friends made me. I got laughs...at 1:50 in the morning...not bad. Oy, I'm trying to keep my earplugs in. I have been sleeping with earplugs recently, I found that by blocking out all the abient sound, I only hear my breathing, and that's very nice, helps me to fall asleep. Then again, I have Nyquil in me, so I guess I could have spikes in my ears and I'd still fall asleep. Anywwho, I'm slowly fading, so I bid you adue...wish me luck in Canada. OH, for those of you who are coming to my show a the Improv next week, just an FYI. I have been bumped down to the emcee...long story very short: There were cancellations by other comics, and some other comics had to be moved around and because I don't have a contract (silly me, I trust people), I get fucked. Originally I was bumped from the week entirely, but thanks to a good friend, I was at least able to make some money. Plus I have the merchandise. It's still going to be a good show, Pablo is there and the new feature is a friend of mine, and he's funny. OK...now I'm off...Nyquil, take me away...

2/4/06
Sorry I haven't been here in a little while, things are kinda shitty now. My grandmother passed away yesterday, so I've been dealing with a lot of family stuff. I've also been at the hospital everyday. Some people would wonder why I'm even writing a blog entry at all, well, I guess I just wanted to get some thoughts and feelings out there. When something like this happens, you can't help but think of your own mortality, and about life, death and all of the shit in between. I don't know, my mind is all over the place right now. But you know what's clear to me in all of this? Family. Plain and simple, family. The one good thing about this is that my whole family has come together to be strong for each other. Like all of the cousins in my family (who are close anyway) have just become that much closer because of this. I mean I see them throughout the year, but sporadically and usually not all together. Well, this past week we have seen each other so much, gone out to dinner and just talked about my grandma. As a matter of fact, we are going to give her a tribute at the services, just a list of the top things we remember about her. It's very cool. We decided not to mourn my grandma, but celebrate her. She really was a great woman...and a smartass to the end. Anywho, I've got to go and help with some family stuff. But, on a completely different note, I found out that the commercial that I did is running now, and I found a copy of it online. So check it out on the Video Clips page.