Well I had a nice surprise this week; I got a call from the Ft. Lauderdale Improv asking if I wanted to work this week. Sure! I worked Thursday through Saturday with Christian Finnegan and tonight I'll be with Jeff Duhnam. I thought this year would be the first time in 10 years I wouldn't be working new years. I'm rare; I love to work on new years. I mean seriously, who in my business wouldn't? I guess if you had a family, it would be another story. But until then, I'll just keep doing what I love to do.

So I guess I should list my new years resolutions, huh? I mean that's what we do, right? So let's go:

• I want to get into better shape. Go to the gym more often and regularly, and eat a bit healthier.
• Be more aggressive with my comedy. I want to get into more clubs and start headlining the Improvs. Of course to do that, I'll need to...
• Get more television exposure this year. I've got to get some more credits to bump me up on the comedy ladder.
• I'd like to meet a nice young lady this year...well, let me rephrase that. I've met plenty of nice young ladies, but I'd like to meet one that I click with and that wants to start something serious. By serious I mean that she'll actually be sane. :)

There are more, but I can't think of'em now.

Well everybody, I'm going to get myself ready for my shows, but before I go, let me wish you all the best in '07 my friends.

12/26/06
Hi everyone, hope you're doing well. I am in bed and ready to call it a night. Tonight was fun, I went to a local open mike, no one was there except for the comics really, but it was fun. I tried some older bits that I'm still working on, like the "Dream Hollywood" joke. I still believe so much in that joke; I know it's got such potential.

Well, it's official, this is the first time in 10 years I'm not working on new years...very weird. I don't know what to do, I've always had plans...and always made money. This year...nope. Fuck, I'm really at a loss. I wanted to be working and I thought I would be, but it doesn't look like it'll happen. I need someone to help me with bookings, I just can't do it anymore.

Oh, I saw Dreamgirls yesterday...Wow! I'm telling you that Jennifer Hudson will be nominated for an Oscar; easily. And I wouldn't be surprised if Eddie Murphy is as well. Such wonderful performances. But that girl, Jennifer...HOLY SHIT! I never really watch American Idol (contrary to my "Simon Cowell" joke), so I hadn't heard her sing before...but I am a fan now. People in the theater actually clapped for her in the movie. DURING THE FUCKING MOVIE!!! She is a star baby...star.

One day that'll be me...well not singing in a movie persay. Then again, who knows? I could be the lead in a movie version of "Spamalot". That would be fun.

Anywho, allergies are kicking in so I'm calling in quits. Night.

12/24/06
Click for my special Christmas Card!

12/23/06
My goodness, I am tired. Had a 3 show night at the Palm Beach Improv and I'm ready to call it a night. Had a really great time working with Joe Starr; a classy guy who is a blast to hang out with. It always feels great when you work with a guy that can not only make you laugh on stage, but off as well. And he just killed me.

Tonight was an interesting show for another reason as well; this is some level 7 shit, so I won't discuss it in detail on the blog, but I will say that a part of my life has a nice sense of closure. Isn't it amazing how emotions can get the better of you for so long but after time, those emotions are all but gone and you can't even remember feeling that way. Be it anger, happiness, depression, whatever, no matter how strong you feel it now, in time it goes away. Wow, I think I might be rambling out of my ass cause I'm exhausted, so I'm going to say g'night. Merry Xmas Eve to all!

12/19/06
Hello everyone, how's it going? Me?? Oh, well thanks for asking, I'm fine. I'm doing a rarely done afternoon blog...why? Well because I'm bored off my ass. I know I bitch about this a lot, but when I'm home (in Florida) and without a car...it sucks royal ass. Yes, royal ass. I'm talking Queen Elizabeth ass. I do have a friend coming over to pick me up now, but it's still not fun to be at the mercy of other people.

A big thanks to those who came to see the shows last week at the Improv in Ft. Lauderdale...and for those of you who missed or who want to see more, I just found out that I'm going to be working this Thursday through Saturday at the W. Palm Beach Improv, and you can get in FREE with the JEWPON! Hope to see ya there. Anyways, the shows were really good; that new joke is coming together so nicely....just like I knew it would.

Oh, I'm in the early stages of writing another movie. I got an idea and I've been fleshing it out for the past few days, I think it could be really funny. It also feels good to write like that again. My other movie script, "Mr. Right Before", was great but it turns out that Dane Cook is making a movie with the EXACT SAME premise. Really pisses me off. I don't usually think like this, but there's a part of me who hopes the movie flops because I'm bitter that this other version got made. Then again there's another part of me that wants it to succeed so I can say that I thought of the same premise of a hit movie. Oh well...I'll settle for the flop....that way I can say that my version was better and wouldn't have flopped. Damn, I'm a bitter prick.

OK, my ride is here, I'm off.

12/14/06
Going to make this short since I have to be up in a few hours...oy, I'm staying up too late. I hate when my body is all out of whack. I can only use the "I'm still on LA time" excuse for so long...it's been almost 2 weeks now. Damn, 2 weeks; shit, this is going by fast. I can't believe it.

Time is a fucked up thing, isn't it? Anyway...tonight was a really good show, I'm working with Andrew Kennedy and he's very funny. This is going to be a good week. Last night I did a spot in Miami and kicked major ass; always fun. I was judging the open mike contest too. There were some really funny guys and then some...shall we say...not so funny guys. But hey, we all start somewhere, right? I sucked major ass when I started.

By the way, did you notice I used the phrase "____ major ass" to describe both doing well and sucking? I did.

OK, gotta go to bed...need to get my body on a real schedule for a bit...for my own sanity really. Night.

12/12/06
Why is it everytime I realize that I haven't blogged in awhile, it's after midnight and I'm too tired to write anything? I guess I like to wait until the day is over so I can recap anything interesting that happened. So, let's recap a few of the last days.

Well, I spent most of my time at the Improv here doing some guest spots. My buddy Steve Byrne was here and let me jump on stage for the shows; very cool. I did come up with a brand new joke! I really am excited about this one. I swear to God, I feel like a kid with a new toy when I come up with a new joke. I'm still working on it, so I'm not going to tell you what it is now...sorry. But if I get it perfect by this week (when I'm performing at the Improv), I'll post it on the site.

Speaking of which, I see that myspace is now allowing artists to sell tracks; I'm thinking about doing that. Not that I don't mind giving bits away, but I tape almost every show I do, I was thinking about selling full shows for like $5 or something. What do you think? Lemme know...

Not too much else to report really. It's been so wonderful to see my family; I sometimes forget how much I miss them when I'm in LA. It's so important. Sometimes I really get the urge to have a family of my own, but then I remember that my job makes it quite difficult to have that...at this point in my life. I just want to start a legacy; have children to raise and love the way my parents did for me and my brother....

OK, getting a little too Hallmarky for me right now. Time to make things funny again...

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, why the long face?'

There, much better.

12/6/06
Hey all, sorry for the lack of blogs lately; been busy and traveling. I'm now back in Florida where I am currently lying in my old bed room once again.

Tonight was fun, I did a show for the Hillel group at the University of Miami. It was really fun. To be honest, I was kind of worried when I got there because the venue was not a club; more like an intimate auditorium. But the sound system wasn't really working and the lights were on the whole time. See I like it when the lights are on me and not the crowd, that way I don't have to look into people's eyes unless I'm talking directly to them. The rest of the time I'm looking over people's heads. So for this, I couldn't look over their heads because they'd see it, and I didn't get up on the stage. I mean there were only like 25 people there, and to be up like 3 feet higher would just seem egocentric.

So I started to do bits, and I could see that it wasn't working. So I ended up just doing crowd work for the most part; and those guys were loving it. It was really great. A big thanks to Joel...who I now know reads this.

That's another thing, Joel was an advisor when I was younger and in USY (a Jewish thing) and now he's hiring me to entertain a new generation of Jews. Wow, that sounded weird, didn't it? "A new generation of Jews", sounds like an upgrade to the Jews or something.

NEW FROM HEBCO....JEW 2000!!!!

Anyway, it was great seeing him and great doing the show.

I'm going to try and get some sleep now, my body is still on LA time...this always happens when I travel like this. So I bid you g'night.