12/25/05
MERRY EXTREME-MAS!!!! (that's for "x-mas") Hope your Jesus day is full of love and happiness. You know it's times like these that make me feel very lucky. I have a wonderful family and a very good life. With all of the bitching I tend to do, it's really such superficial/bullshitty-shit-shit in the long run, it's stupid. I've got nothing to complain about. And what's really sad is that sometimes it takes someone else's misery to make me realize this. I have some friends who are not having the best time right now, actually, they're in deep shit. And I feel so helpless because there's nothing I can do except for being a friend and being there for them. But I'm sure you know that when someone you care about is in trouble, you want to be able to make it all better. And I can't make it better, and it hurts. This isn't a time for people to be suffering, and I know there is suffering all over the world, I mean hell, I'm sure New Orleans isn't all better now. I just want to help my friends. Please send out some positive vibes for them, at least so they can have some good karma coming this year. I'll be honest, I'm really worried...scared. OK, OK, I'm not going to go into this negative shit now, I'm going to put out the positive vibes now too. Actually, we're all going out in a bit, so hopefully we can figure something out...or at least make things a little easier tonight. On a completely different note, I went to see the King Tut exibit today...my gods was it amazing. I mean it's so hard to comprehend just how old these things are. They look like they could just be some props from a movie, but they're not, they are the real deal my friends. The craftsmanship and the detail on some of these things are just remarkable...unbelievable really. And then I started thinking about the guy who discovered it in 1922, he was the first to see all this in 3,000 years! The story goes that while this guy (Carter) was looking for the tomb in the Valley of the Kings, a young boy was bringing water to the workers. Well, the boy was clearing some sand to make a hole to put the water bottles in when he saw a step. He got Carter and Carter said, "This is the tomb." Low and behold, it was a set of steps that lead down to the tomb and all that treasure. Just unreal. The only thing about the tour that sucked was that King Tut wasn't among the stuff. Now I'm not saying that I expected the actual body to be there, but I thought his coffin or face mask would be on display...nope! They had jewelry, vases, chests, the coffin of his great grandmother, but nothing from Tut's actual coffin. I mean it's "King Tut's Exhibition"...without King Tut. It's not called, "Shit We Found in King Tut's Tomb", no. That's like going to the "Rolling Stones Concert" and then having a completely different band come on stage...BUT, they're wearing the Rolling Stones clothes. I dunno, maybe I'm just being difficult. But despite that, it still was an amazing thing to see. Well, I'm going to get going and try to bring some holiday joy into my friends' lives. Wishing all of you a very happy Hannukkah/Christmas/New Year/Kwanzaa/Sunday...whatever. OH YEAH, if anyone's around in the S. Florida are this week, I am working this week at the Miami Improv, and there are still tickets left for the new years shows on Saturday AND you can use the Jewpon to get in to the Thursday, Friday and Sunday shows ONLY. And thanks to those who came this past week to see me there headlining! For those of you who missed it, check this out: Miami Marquee.

12/23/05
My god, coming home to Florida really keeps me busy, I'm constantly out and about and therefore I lack in my blogging. My apologizes. Right now I'm still lying in bed at 1:00 in the afternoon...very late night. It started with an amazing show at the Miami Improv where I am headlining! It was a pretty big crowd AND it was great. I did 50 minutes solid, just a fun time. It was one of those shows where I say to myself, "OK, this is why I do stand up." And to top it off, my name is on the marquee of the club...that is very cool. I mean this is the first Improv that I started to work when I was younger, and now I'm on the marquee. Just a great feeling. Well, then I went and met up with some friends...had a drink...went to another bar...had a few more drinks...sobered up a little...drove home and passed out. And now I write to you in my post-drunk state. What else to report? Well, there's been a lot going on personally, but this is VERY level 8/9 shit, so I'm sorry, but you are not privy to it. Let's just say that it's great and it's horrible and everything in between. Cryptic, no? Damn, I can't drink like that anymore, well, maybe new years, need to save my strength for that. Should be interesting. I think I'm going to come back up to Lauderdale for it, not stay in Miami. It's just that all of my friends live up there, and my bed is up there, so it would be a lot more familiar to be there. Anywho, I'm going to start my day up now, I wish I could tell you about the new stuff, but until I'm sure about it, I need to keep it locked up in the Flip Vault. Well, maybe if you guess the combination I'll tell ya. But I doubt you'll get it, it's the same combination I have on my luggage. (hint)

12/18/05
Holy shit it's been awhile since I updated this thing. Well, it's late and I'm smiling. I just had a great night...plain and simple. I won't go into detail now, let's just say I'm smiling as I drift off into dreamland. "Damn Flip, you don't update for over a week and now you blue ball us with this cryptic blog message??? Fuck you!" Hey, calm down, I'll tell you about it later, k? "Oh...ok Flip, how can we stay mad at you? You so cute and craaazy." Thanks guys. Only 6 more shopping days until Christmas...and then only 2 months until advertisers remind you that the next Christmas is only 10 months away. My god, I must be tired, that made absolutely no sense...or did it? What the hell am I talking about? I don't know. Night! Smile!

12/11/05
My god am I slacking off on this thing. I'm too busy being on myspace and...uh, nothing really, just myspace. That thing is like internet crack. And I don't understand why. Seriously, it's not like I'm playing a game, I'm not winning money, I'm not looking at naked women...well, most of the time. All I'm doing (all anyone is doing really) is just talking with other people and collecting friends. That's it. I think that's the addiction; collecting friends. Since you have no real social skills to make friends in the real world, you go to the cyber world where making friends is as easy as (click!), "you're approved"! And to keep friends in the real world, you have to have good conversation over coffee and dinner and whatever. But in the cyber world, you can think out what you want to say in messages and emails. Isn't that great, we've evolved in our technology, but in the process, we've devolved in our commuication skills. Well, I'm back in Florida now, just lying in my bed about to pass out...per usual. Had an interesting night, my friend had a bad break up today, so I was comforting her tonight. It's times like this that make me happy to not be in a relationship, no pain. I swear, just watching her and knowing the pain she's going through took me back to my last big break up, god that was horrible. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be afraid my whole life to get into a new relationship, it's just some scars never heal. Guess that's why they're scars. I'm really hoping to pick up some work while I'm down here. I saw that my tour page is all but empty right now, I need some gigs and pronto! I need a fucking booking agent. I'm sick of always doing this shit myself. Ok, ok, I'm getting a bit too personal now I think. I'm also chatting with a girl now, so I'm a bit distracted...sorry bloggers, but women take precedence over a blog. I'm such a guy. OK, I'm off to see if I made any new friends.

12/7/05
I am really mad at Besy Buy. I went in there to do some shelve shopping (it's like window shopping, but since there are no windows in Best Buy...) and I had my brand new Ipod with me. So in order so they know I didn't steal it, they put this little sticker on it. And the fucking sticker stuck! REALLY HARD! So I had to try and peel it off by scratching it off and of course I start to scratch the metal and the finish because the fucking thing isn't coming off in one piece. Oh no, it's coming off in little, sticky pieces. Seriously, what's the point of doing that. I'm sorry, with all of the security at those places; I'm talking cameras, people, sensors, locks, etc... If someone can actually steal and/or replace an Ipod, they should be allowed to keep it. Don't fucking deface my new toy because you've got retarded people working there. And by the way, when I say "retarded", I mean fire-proof. Anyway, had a late night at the Improv, got into some racey talks with other comics. We were discussing our dirtiest and most interesting sex stories. There were a few doozies, and I contributed one or two good ones myself. Don't want to tell you guys here, but just assume that they're good. :D I'm tired, it's soooo cold here. My skin always gets so dry this time of year, I hate it. I itch so much, it's driving me crazy. I have to put moisturizer on like 10 times an hour. Does anyone know a good, solid, easy remedy for this? Shoot me an email if you do. Good thing I've got MySpace to keep me occupied. I'll tell you, this thing is worse that crack. I'm addicted to it, I'm on all the time, just messaging people, collecting friends, updating my page and saying to myself, "What the hell am I doing? This isn't that amazing!" And yet it is. It's like that new song by the Black Eyed Peas..."My Humps". That song is so fucking stupid and so damn annoying...YET...it's so fucking catchy. That's myspace, annoying but catchy. Well, I'm going to crash now...after I check my myspace messages.

12/3/05
So I had my private corporate show tonight, it was better than it could've been but not as good as it could've been. In other words, I didn't bomb, but I didn't kill. It started out great; great crowd, did some audience work, everyone was having fun. Then I did one joke and lost them. What I realized was that in a situation like that (by "situation" I mean it was a bunch of co-workers having fun, letting off steam and drinking), the jokes should be quick ones, not ones with long set ups. I did one of those (and the punchline in that situation didn't kill as it does in the clubs) and the crowd just kinda sat there...very awkward. After that it was very touch and go. But I did my time, to the minute, and ended well. The "God" joke, always a great closer for these functions. It's clean, smart and funny, it's one of my favorite jokes I've ever written. So now I'm able to relax and enjoy a week in LA before I go back to Florida on Saturday. So much traveling...sooo much traveling. I'm looking out of my window now, a very serine night. The weather is getting cold...I love it! As far as my last blog goes, eh, I'm up...I'm down...I'm human. Sometimes I think I'm really fucked up, then I realize that everyone gets like this. And thank you to those who sent me well wishes, I do appreciate it. OK, short one here, I'm tired...actually that's a lie, I'm too busy entering album artwork into my iPod. OH, that reminds me, if anyone is interested, I am selling some stuff of ebay! Yes, you too can own what I once had. Check out my pages:

12/1/05
Well happy December everyone, I can't believe it's the end of 2005 already. Fuck...time. The older you get, the faster it goes. I had one of those "wow...life" moments last night. I was out with one of my oldest and dearest friends, and we were both just going over times past and what the future has in store. And we had happy moments and sad moments, and shed tears for both of them. Then, of course, I start to get into myself a lot and think about what I have done and what I haven't done. I start comparing my life to other lives that I know, and I start to wonder if I'm going along the right path. It seems like once you're headed somewhere, you can't change your course. Don't get me wrong, at this moment, I don't plan on stopping the journey I've begun (comedy and acting), but I'd be lying if I didn't think about the "what if" possibilities. And unfortunately they're the negative what if's. I hate thinking like that, but I think we all do one time or another. And then I think about the couples I know and how I wish I could be one of those people. I know that recently an ex of mine got married, and I can't really decide how I feel about that. I want to be happy for her and at the same time...I don't know. I don't know. You wonder why people who hurt you end up happy; and that's not to say that she's had an easy life up until I now, as a matter of fact, I know she hasn't. So maybe she's entitled to some happiness now? Sure, sure she is. And on the other hand, my life has been pretty easy, not completely easy, but on the grand scale, pretty easy...and I'm lucky. Great family, great friends, I'm healthy. But then it seems that with all that satisfaction in that part of my life, the other parts of my life suffer. Well, suffer may be too strong of a word, but I mean that those other parts of my life (the ones I always seem to bitch about: career & love) never get satisfied. Why is that? I see other people who have the best of both worlds: They're happily married with a career they love. They have a great, healthy family and they're happy....purely, 100% happy. My parents for instance...granted, it's taken them 25 years or so to get there, but they did. So maybe I should just be patient. Maybe that's it. Be patient. Just keep doing what I'm doing and I'll get "there" eventually. See that's the thing though, there's no guarantee, there's no rule that says, "If you just plug along, do right, follow your heart and be a good person, everything will work out in the end." God that would be great if it were true, a guarantee on your life. Just follow these rules and you'll be happy. Or what about a warrantee on life. Yeah, when you're born you can buy a life-time warrantee on your life, if you screw up this life, you can get a new one and do it all over again...but this time, you'll know how to do it better. I guess that's reincarnation to a certain extent. I wonder if reincarnation exsists, if you choose to come back as a certain thing, or to experience certain things. Like did I choose to come back to be a comedian and experience the highs of being on stage AND the lows of being single and just under the comedy radar. Jesus, this is such a fucked up blog here. I'm just whining like a child, feeling sorry for myself. See, let that be a lesson to you, don't meet up with old friends, it just makes you think of the past. LOL. (wow, I Laughed Out Loud at my own joke, how "me" was that?) I'm kidding of course, I love all of my friends, both new and old. I just wish that time didn't go by so fucking fast. Then again, maybe I should slow down and look at today instead of worrying about tomorrow. I think I just answered my own question.