First of all, a big thanks and love to SW Minnesota University for a really fun show last night. And thanks for being understanding about my lack of sleep. I swear, after I flying all day yesterday on a few hours of sleep, then driving an hour and a half to the town. I had an hour to shower and rest up before the show. Needless to say, I was not in the best mindset to do a show. But I gathered up my strength, went out there and had a really fun show.

Again, love to the students there.

After the show the folks from the Student Activities wanted to take me for dinner, but I was just tired and knew that I had to get up at 4:45 this morning, so I just told them I needed sleep. I got in bed, and (of course) tossed & turned but got a few hours of sleep. Then I was up at 4:45, showered, got on the road by 5:00 and drove the hour and a half back to Sioux Falls to return the car and now, now I'm at the gate just waiting to board.

Even though I'm full of McDonalds coffee, I'm going to try and sleep on the flights (yes, there are two) back home.

what was really fun was while driving back this morning, I got to see the sun come up on all of this farm land. That was so beautiful.

I was thinking about this yesterday. I live in LA, and I grew up in the Ft. Lauderdale area. Basically in very big, metropolitan city areas. I never saw any real farm land. No rural places. Oh sure, I saw some pastures here and there in west Florida, but not farms.

And I think I've taken for granted that food actually comes from these places. That farmers aren't extinct, they're still around thank God for that.

When I travel around I see these little towns and sometimes feel sorry for the people there. I feel that they live in a little bubble and never see any of the amazing places that exist beyond their town. But on the other hand, I'm in just as much a bubble as they are. I live in this world where it's all big buildings, oceans, comedy clubs, etc. I never see the "real America", the places that keep this country (and hell, the world) going.

We all need to remember that it's the "little places" that make the big places possible. Without the farm belt, we won't have food. And without food, well there's no Los Angeles, no New York, no Miami; no anywhere. Movie studios can close, big buildings can crumble, the ocean resorts can wash away, but we as a species will still survive with our basic needs: Food, water & shelter. But without those basic needs, it won't matter how much money a movie makes, or who's being seen with so-and-so's ex-wife; we'll all be dead.

Wow, this blog has taken a real morbid turn, hasn't it?

OK kids, I just noticed that my plane has arrived, so I'm going to get ready to board. See ya back on the west coast.

Oh, and don't forget to come by and support Allison this Friday and me (as Skippy) this Saturday at the Hollywood Comedy Fest.

Later.

8/24/10
I am soooo fucking tired. I had a very uneasy night of sleeping that lasted for hours. Fuck me!

What sucks is that I was so sure I was going to get a great nights sleep. I had it all planned. I ordered a small pizza and while that was on it's way, I went to a gas station and got an iced tea and some Nyquil gel caps to knock me out. So I ate the pizzak (which I really shouldn't have done). Then I took both Nyquils and got in bed. By the time I was getting tired it was 9:30. Perfect. I fall asleep and I start to dream. But during the dream, I realize that it's just a dream (how Inception-like) and then I wake up. It's only 9:50 at this point. Fuck. And I spent the next 5 hours tossing and turning for various reasons.

Partly because of a catchy song that was stuck in my head, and partly because that pizza that I ate just before bed time was busy digesting. I felt gassy (TMI, I know), nauseous, everything. I finally feel asleep soon after 2:00 I think. But the Nyquil was still in my system.

So now I'm in Chicago on a layover to Sioux Falls where I then have to drive 1 1/2 hours to Marshall, MN. for my show tonight. Then tomorrow morning I have to drive back to the airpot in Sioux Falls for an early flight back to LA. It's going to be very touch and go until then.

Oy.

So I'm killing time here for the next 3 hours. I think I'm going to get some coffee. Although I did sleep on the flight from Little Rock to here, so if I get coffee then maybe I won't be able to sleep on the flight now. I dunno.

I wonder how long my body will be able to do these marathon traveling sessinos.

OK, I'm gone. Gonna get the coffee...fuck it.

8/23/10
I think I've answered the enternal question;what is hell? Answer: Being stuck in a hotel in Batesville, Arkansas. My god am I bored.

Now this is nothing against the college here and the show I did last night. It was a lot of fun and much love to the students who came out; no pun Victor. (inside joke, ya'll had to be there. Did I just type 'ya'll'? I'm even blogging with a southern accent) But today, I've been stuck at my hotel all fucking day. And it's been really, really, really...boring.

I left for lunch and walked to the Western Sizzler where I had a nice buffet, that has since left my system in a very uncomfortable way. And now I'm waiting for my dinner pizza. I also walked to a gas station for some sleeping pills. Got a 10:45 am flight and the drive back to the airport is about an hour and a half. So I'm being picked up at 8:00 am...

Pizza got here; bye.

8/22/10
And back to the traveling grind I go. I'm on my layover in Dallas now, flying to Little Rock for a college show tonight in Batesville. I haven't done a college show in awhile so I'm listening to some shows I did last year just to refresh my memory.

I always get nervous doing these shows because I never know where I'm going to be performing and what the audience will be like (size wise, tolerance, etc.) Like I'll show up and I'm set up in a little auditorium with a really energetic crowd...and then other times I'll show up to a lounge or cafeteria and it's either too loud or too quiet.

I'm listening to two different shows I did last year with the exact scenerios I just listed.

The first one was in the little lounge and they were a nice crowd, but for some reason when the venue isn't a theater or club (basically, not a place where the audience can hide in the dark), they seem very wary to laugh out loud. So that show I was just flying by the seat of my pants. I had my set (ie: jokes) all layed out, but I veered off a lot just by what the audience was telling me they did or didn't like. And again, it was a nice show, but one that I was eager to get over with.

The other show was in a auditorium (and they had an opening act, which ALWAYS helps) and the crowd was big and really fun. And since they were in the dark, they were more prone to laugh. And with that show I did 12 more minutes...just cause I was having fun.

Well, I guess I'll see where I am when I get there.

Tomorrow I have off, so I'll be spending the day in Batesville...don't know where that is or what there is to do. Hopefully there's a mall or movie theater there.

Tuesday I fly to do a show in Marshall, MN...again, no idea where I'm performing or where that is really. I fly into Sioux Falls and drive there.

Hey, it's all fun though. I actually feel like I'm going to do really well no matter where the venue is. Lately I've been in a zone of performing...except for last Friday. I did 3 shows that night. First two were fantastic...last one was less than stellar. But it honestly wasn't my fault. Long story short, the show started late, I was 7th to go up, the guy before me did like 30 minutes and basically drained the crowd and then I hit the stage at 12:50 am. I did alright (all things considered) but I was really upset as to the situation. But oh well.

But back to my original point, I've been having really great sets lately. And I'm really excited about doing The Hollywood Comedy Fest this week. Mainly because of doing Skippy in front of some industry peeps.

Well, I'm going to finish listening to my show and take some more notes. Wish me luck.

Oh, and here's a new Skippy video I just posted:

Oh, and as far as that whole "AT&T" thing goes; they saved their ass by having a very cool technician come out and do an amazing job setting us up. We were ready to cancel and this guy was really cool, gave us no grief and so we decided to stay with them...but we're watching you AT&T...don't fuck up!

8/12/10
I FUCKING HATE AT&T!!!! I am officially boycotting them in every way possible. Hell, I would even say the word "attack" anymore because the first three letters are A, T & T.

These incompitent, idiotic, horribly trained, lying pieces of shit have comletely fucked up our apartment.

Yesterday a technician was supposed to come over between 11:00 and 2:00...of course, he didn't show up unti 4:00. But no matter...to be expected, right?

What wasn't expected was having this fucking dickhead, douche fuck, piece of dog shit leaving in the middle of the installation and not coming back. That's right, he just dimantled our initial system, started hooking up the "U-Worse" and then said, "There's a problem with the signal outside. I have to call for maintenance." Then I said, "Well, is this going to be done by 8:00?" (I had show) And he said, "Oh yeah. And if it can't be done now, I'll come back and reconnect your original box." Well, he left...and left all this shit in here...AND NEVER CAME BACK! Never reconnected shit!

So when I call AT&T, they tell me that there is an issue with an outside signal thing and that someone will be there to fix it in the morning. Well fuck me, ain't that great!? So we're out of TV and our apartment is a mess. Perrrfect.

I made a stink with them, insisted on something from them. They said to call the billing dept. and they should take care of us.

Cut to this morning, no call. Nothing. So Ally drops them a line (and she is a lot nicer than I was) and they said that we have to reschedule another appointment to fix everything. She then asked if someone can come by to just reconnect our system. They said yes. That was about 10:30 or so this morning. Cut to 6:30 tonight...NOTHING!

So I called to raise hell, and after the run around for a half hour, I was told that the earliest a technician could be here would be Aug. 23. The fucking 23!? In case you forgot the date of this entry, it's the 12! So eleven fucking days!? For what reason??? You dumb fucks!

I told him that we're just going to cancel this now, before we even got started. I told him this is the worst service I have ever gotten from ANY company. EVER!

I'm going to call them tomorrow, rip them a new asshole, get that technician fired and probably call the better business bureau on them. This is just beyond the pail. I mean it's sooooo fucking amazingly stupid! Oh, I'm also going to tell them to pick up their equiptment within the next day or I am throwing it in the dumpster.

Actually, anyone want a free AT&T U-Verse box and modem? I'd love for you to take it and just have your way with it. Yes, let's all have a big fuck AT&T party by just ramming all sorts of shit into their equiptment. And no, I'm not talking about our personal "equiptment". I mean knives, hammers...ok, a whip or two.

Jeez, it's just so amazing that they could fuck someone over like that. And the guy today was nice and I know it's not his fault, but have a heart fucker. Help me out, get a technician here immediately. If it was the other way around, I'm sure you'd be just as pissed as me. Understandably, no?

Well, since I wasted this day as well, I'm going to salvage something and head on over to the HaHa Cafe. Maybe I can get up and vent.

Later.

Oh, if you're in the LA area this weekend, don't forget, Skippy has his headlining show at The Jon Lovitz Comedy Club. Buy tickets here: BUY TICKETS. And you can get a 2 for 1 admission with this: JEWPON!

I'm off.

8/5/10
Only 4 1/2 more hours and I'm home!! Yay!!!

What a fucking night. It was a fucking nightmare. Actually, it started great.

I was headlining the open mike night at the Improv and that was fun. But during the open mike part of the show, this one comic (who was pretty funny) said, "I'm trying to think of a catch phrase, and the only thing I came up with was...lick my balls." Of course I'm in the back of the room thinking, "Wait a minute...that's Skippy's catch phrase!"

First of all, I know the guy didn't steal it from me. It's just one of those things that sounds funny. I'm sure there have been (or are) comics out there saying it without ever having heard of Skippy.

Anywho, I had the Skippy costume with me on the off chance that I would do double duty as myself and Skippy. Along with the costume, I had a bunch of Skippy's t-shirts. So I grabbed a shirt and told the guy, "Hey, that catch phrase is taken." The guy turned bright red and appologized. I told him it was cool, but now I had to go onstage as Skippy and say something.

As the night went on I started thinking that Skippy would most likely kill, but there's a chance it would backfire, whereas I knew I'd do fine. But I still wanted to use the "lick my ball" thing. So I decided to (for the first, and mostly likely only time) incorporate Skippy material into my own set. I did my joke about my brother's wedding and then said that I have an uncle, Uncle Skippy, who loved to tell jokes and give me advice about women. At which point I did a skippy knock-knock joke to a girl in the crowd (which always ends with 'lick my balls') and said to the other comic, "That catch phrase it taken mother fucker!" And then (like with a regular Skippy show) spread the knock-knocks throughout my show. And it worked!!! And I sold a few shirts!

Like I said, I will most likely never do this again. I like keeping my act and Skippy's act seperate. I will never deny that we're the same person, but I like having two different acts that never interact. I don't ever want to rely on one to help the other. Even though there are times when I'll borrow a joke from one of my acts and use it in the other. (ex-the "eating ice cream is like oral sex" joke).

So after the show I go to my brother's house and spend the night there. The air conditioning at my parents house was broken and it was so fucking unbearably hot that my eyeballs were sweating. I crash on my brothers' couch and slept alright. Then I'm woken up by my brother at 7 am because he needs to get ready for work, not to mention Lily woke up.

So I spent an hour playing with her and just making her laugh...and she made me laugh. She's soooooooooo fucking cute!

Then, all of a sudden, I start weezing. I had bad asthma as a kid and it will occasionally act up (usually if I'm smoking something) but it never came about on it's own. So I'm trying to go back to sleep but I literally could not breathe. It was scary as shit! Luckily at that time, my brother's friend Matt showed up and he offered to go to my parents house to get my inhaler. Thank God for Matt. AFter a few puffs (and for once I'll put these puffs ahead of my usual puffs) I was fine and slept for a few more hours.

It was just really scary to be that ouf of control of my breathing. I can see how people with chronic asthma are really careful. I believe the problem was that my brother has two big (lovely) shedding cats. And that is what caused the trouble.

Anyway, I'm gonna get going cause I'm boarding soon for my flight home.

And speaking of home, Ally will be featured tomorrow, Aug. 5, on CMT's new show Your Chance To Dance. I haven't seen it yet, so I'm really excited. The site did post this picture of her (as a famous singer):

How cute is she!?

Oh, and a very special happy birthday to Ally's mom, Barbara!!! :)

See you guys in LA!!

8/2/10
Greetings everyone. I am so anxious right now, I just can't wait to get back to LA. I'm sure you've gathered that by my last blog, but still, I can't wait.

Tonight was a fun distraction, I did a spot at the Rum Shack in Lake Worth and did alright. I was more happy that I got to see some of the local comics there and hang out with some friends. I tried a few new bits, but that room can be weird to judge newer jokes. But hey, fun is fun. :)

So what else to report? Well, I'm thrilled to announce that very soon, Skippy will be shooting his second TV spot this year...you believe I'm getting more TV as Skippy than as myself??? Eh, who cares so long as it's TV. I'll tell ya more as it gets closer.

Oh, I've also been doing some more writing lately. Not for jokes, but for scripts. I got an idea for a film and I wrote up a treatment (that's a short story description of the movie) and will (hopefully) be talking to some peeps about it. No matter what happens, I'm just happy to be creative in that way again.

I remember when I used to write scripts a lot. Short ones, long ones, movies, plays; whatever. I loved it. And over the past few years, I just haven't been inspired. Well this idea got me inspired and I'm so excited about it! I used to write plays when I was in high school and I remember feeling God-like. It was like I was creating this world and these people. I gave them life. I know it sounds silly, but it really was an amazingly fulfilling feeling...wow, that's a lot of 'F's there.

Anyway, I'm going to get to bed now. Only 3 more days until I'm back in LA and back in Ally.

...and if her family is reading this, that was a joke. Hehehehe...

Night.